Category Archives: Mental game
Beware the Slow, Hidden Erosion of Skills
Most people in the fastpitch softball world are believers that practicing is essential to building, maintaining, and improving skills. Whether you’re a pitcher, catcher, fielder, or hitter, it’s important to get those practice reps in.
What they don’t often realize, however, is how even with the best dedication to practice there is another factor that can erode those skills – a lack of gametime experience.
Let’s take pitchers for example. You can get individual instruction, do bullpens two, three, four times per week, and even do the lonely practices on your own. But if you’re not getting in-game opportunities, your ability to hit speed, spin, and spot is going to deteriorate.
It doesn’t happen quickly, as it would if you’re not practicing at all. But the fewer innings you get in the circle, the less likely you are to perform well when you do get an opportunity.
Instead of earning 7-10 Ks, throwing 1-2 Ws, and giving up a couple of hits, suddenly you’re only striking out 4, walking 4, and letting up 4 hits. As a result, teams are scoring more runs against you (earned or unearned).
At that point you coach begins to lose a little confidence in you and gives even fewer innings, maybe waiting for “safe” situations (translation: being well in front or well behind). Your skills deteriorate a little more, and the downward spiral continues.
Yet that reduction in quality probably has less to do with physical skills than it does with mental factors.
If you’re getting a decent number of innings, you’re far more likely to feel confident in what you’re doing, which means you’ll be more aggressive and more mentally positive in your approach. You’ll perform better, and look like a good choice when it’s time to make playing time decisions
If your innings are being reduced, however, you’ll probably feel more pressure to perform. You’ll become more conscious of what you’re doing, and will focus more on outcomes than on the process.
That misplaced focus will make you tighter and will likely cause you to try to force the outcomes (for example, trying to force strikes instead of letting them happen). The net result is you won’t perform as well, leading your coach to feel like using you is taking too much of a risk, which means your innings will be reduced, which means you’ll feel even more pressure to produce and probably do even worse.
It’s a vicious cycle.
The same is true for anything on the field. Hitters who are confident are far more likely to make good contact than hitters who are worried that if they don’t get a hit on the next at-bat they will be benched.
Fielders who are worried about making a throwing error are likely to tighten up their throw, ruining their mechanics and throwing the ball away anyway. Baserunners who are unsure of whether to take the extra base may stop rather than take a chance, or hesitate and then get thrown out because they made their decision too late.
So what can you do about all this? It depends on the situation.
You can start by controlling the controllables. Do as much physical and mental preparation as you can, and then make sure when you get an opportunity you keep your emotions and mental approach in check.
Confidence is king, so pump up yours any way you can before you take the field and then keep those little demons of self-doubt off your shoulder. Believe in yourself and you’re likely to relieve a lot of the internal pressure.
From there you have to evaluate your situation. If your coach is supportive of you and encouraging you even when you’re not at your best, and continues to give you opportunities even when your current performance level may not always recommend it, count yourself fortunate and give it your all.
If you feel like you’ve lost your coach and that your opportunities are continuing to shrink even when your performance is improving, it might be time to look for another situation where you can start fresh. Professional athletes do that all the time across all sports.
How many times has a bust on one team gone on to become a star (or at least a solid contributor) on another? More than you can count for sure.
It’s fairly easy to do in travel ball (in most areas anyway), and now college athletics has made it easier as well. In high school it’s tougher – you may have to move or attend a school that will be more of a financial burden – so salvaging the current situation is probably the better choice. But if it’s not salvageable, there are options as difficult or as unpleasant as they might be.
The reality is, to achieve their potential players need in-game playing time. Otherwise, their skills will erode the way the water erodes the rock until there is very little left.
If you’re in that situation, be sure you’re honest with yourself and then choose wisely. It will save you a lot of heartache in the long term.
Lead photo by Nadtochiy Photography on Pexels.com
Before You Go Ballistic Over Errors or Other Mistakes…
When I sat down to start this week’s blog post I found myself staring at a blank screen, wondering what I should write about. Then serendipity struck in the form of my good friend Tim Boivin.
Tim just happened to send me a link to this Facebook post from United Baseball Parents of America showing Phillies teammates consoling Orion Kerkering after his misplay of a comebacker in the 11th inning put the final nail in the Phillies’ exit from Major League Baseball’s postseason. You can read more about that play here.
First of all, as I’ve said many times, one bad play or one bad call is never THE reason for a loss. If the Phillies had scored a few more runs earlier in the game, or prevented the Dodgers from scoring its only other run, that 11th inning misplay never would have happened and the Phillies would have one.
That point aside, though, making an error that ends a game can be devastating for any ballplayer in any game, but even moreso when it’s not just game-ending but season-ending. If you see any of the post-game photos or interviews the heartbreak is obvious.
Not to mention all the fan chatter that’s no doubt going to haunt him for a while – all the keyboard warriors and barstool experts who never made it past 12U rec ball who are going to talk about how “bad” he is and how he should be drawn and quartered for costing “them” the series. But at least he has the consolation of an MLB paycheck, which will help him get through it pretty handily.
Now think about that in terms of your youth, high school, or even college player. If one of the most talented athletes in the world – and if you’re playing MLB you are no matter where you fall on that scale – can have a momentary glitch in a big game, why would you think your young player would be immune from it?
And think about the fact that there was a lot more at stake for the Phillies coaches and other players than there is in your typical weekend tournament. Yet the coaches didn’t scream at Kerkering and the other players came over to console him when he was down.
That’s an object lesson we should all keep in mind. No one sets out to misplay a ground or fly ball, or give up a fat pitch down the middle, or strike out, or throw to the wrong base. That stuff just happens – unfortunately it’s part of the game.
We do have a choice, however, on how we react to it. Any player with any sense of game awareness realizes when she (or he) has made a critical, game-changing mistake and most likely feels bad about it.
Rather than going ballistic, the better reaction is help that player understand that this momentary lapse will not define him/her for life. Despite what it may feel like right now, it’s just one more bump on a road that will be filled with them.
Emotional scars can run deep, and the body keeps the score for a lot longer than most of us realize. By helping players keep these glitches in perspective you can save them a lot of heartache now and in the future – and reduce the chances of a repeat performance should those players find themselves in another high-pressure situation again.
Also remember that at the end of the day it’s just a game. No one was seriously damaged when Kerkering muffed the play, and no one will be seriously hurt when a 12 year old softball player makes a mistake either.
Keep it in perspective and the fastpitch softball experience will be a lot better for everyone.
Fastpitch Players: Adopt the Confidence of a Cat
Anyone who has a cat, or who hangs out at the home of someone who has a cat, knows this scenario: The cat is walking along a precarious path, such as the back of a couch or a very thing shelf. Suddenly, the cat loses its footing and lands on the next surface below.
No matter how ridiculous the cat looked when it was falling, or how awkwardly it landed, it will always have the same reaction: it will get up (if it didn’t land on its feet as they usually do), straighten itself out, and look around the room with an expression that says, “I meant to do that.”
Fastpitch softball players can learn a lot from that reaction. All too often, when a player makes a mistake (such as a pitcher sailing a pitch into the backstop or a hitter swinging at a pitch that, um, went sailing into the backstop), the player will react as though she just accidentally published her most private thoughts on her Instagram account.
Once she’s had that reaction it gets into her head. Sometimes it affects the next few pitches or plays; sometimes it affects the rest of the game, the day, or the weekend.
This doesn’t just happen at the youth levels either. College players can suffer from this debilitating reaction as well.
Once it starts it’s hard to stop. And it can also have a ripple effect, especially if it’s a pitcher who does it. The rest of the team usually takes its cue from the pitcher, so if the pitcher is freaking out you can bet that at some level the rest of the team is freaking out as well.
So what to do about it? You have to train it, like anything else.
Because while cats react with a superior air instinctively; athletes generally do not.
Coaches and parents can help their athletes overcome those tendencies by not overreacting themselves. Remember that no one sails a pitch or bobbles a grounder or drops a popup or swings at a bad pitch on purpose.
It just happens. Staying positive in the moment, or at least not going nuclear, can help players move past a mistake faster so one issue doesn’t turn into multiple issues.
Ultimately, though, it’s up to the players themselves to take on this attitude. While it may come naturally to some, most will probably worry too much about letting down their team, their coaches, their parents, as well as looking bad generally.
They have to learn that errors or other miscues happen to everyone, and have to have the confidence to keep going even when they want to shrink or crawl into a hole.
In my opinion this attitude is particularly important for pitchers, because the rest of the team often takes its emotional cues from the girl in the circle. If she gets frustrated, or upset, or off her game in any way, it’s very likely she’ll take most if not all of the team down with her.
Which means the team behind her will under-perform just when she needs them to be better to pick her up.
Anyone in a captain’s or other leadership role also must take on that cat-like attitude. Remember that the characteristic that makes you a leader is that people will follow you. So you have to decide where you want to lead your followers – into a deeper hole or beyond any problems.
Taking on an “I meant to do that” attitude, even when everyone knows they didn’t, will give everyone else the confidence that everything is fine so they can play without fear of failure. Isn’t that the definition of what leaders do?
For those who don’t have access to a cat themselves, the Internet is filled with cat videos that demonstrate this behavior. Check some out and see how they react to the biggest miscues.
Then have your favorite players adopt that attitude for themselves. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.
Giving Players the Chance to Work Through Adversity
One of the most common phrases you will hear in all of sports is “player development.” Whether it’s a 10U girls fastpitch softball team coached by volunteers or a multi-billion dollar NFL franchise, everyone likes to talk about how important player development is for the short- and long-term success of the team and the organization.
That is, of course, until somebody makes a mistake or a problem arises. Then all that talk about letting players develop goes out the window as the coach unceremoniously removes said player from the game so the team doesn’t face the unthinkable prospect of possibly losing a game because of that one play.
Yeah, I’m getting a little hyperbolic but it’s to make a larger point: how in the world will players develop when the minute something bad happens they are removed from the situation?
We’ve all heard the phrases “iron sharpens iron,” “steel is forged in heat,” and “diamonds are lumps of coal that stood up to pressure.” But none of those great outcomes happen if you remove the object from the situation the second any stress occurs.
That’s why, if you are actually committed to seeing your players develop, you have to leave them in to face their greatest difficulties or fears, even if it means you might lose a few more games here or there rather than pulling them something starts to go wrong. By giving them a chance to work their way out of a difficult situation, even if they ultimately fail today, you will help them become better-prepared for the next time they face similar pressure.
Take a pitcher, for example. Maybe she is fairly new to pitching, or has been sidelined for a while with an injury.
She starts the game and does ok in the first inning, but then she walks a couple of hitters on 8 or 9 total pitches. Time to pull her, right?
Not necessarily. If you’re in an elimination Sunday game maybe.
But if you’re playing a meaningless weekday friendly, or a showcase where no college coaches are there to see someone specifically, or a pool play game (especially where seeding will be decided by a blind draw) a better strategy for the player and the team might be to go out and talk to her, try to reinforce her confidence, then leave her in there to try to work her way out of the situation.
She just might surprise you. And even if she doesn’t, who cares?
Losing that game doesn’t really affect anything but your ego around your team’s record. But giving that pitcher a chance to work her way through difficulty might be just the boost she needs to help her contribute more to the team down the road.
After all, pitchers need innings if they’re going to be effective. Taking them out of the game because you panic at the first sign of trouble (or are more worried about wins than giving your players a chance to develop) will just set them back further on their own journeys – and could even cost you players who become great when someone else shows a little more faith.
The same is true for fielders and hitters. If you pull a fielder after one or even two errors rather than giving her a chance to recover she’s not going to learn very much – except that you have no faith in her.
If you constantly DH for a hitter because you don’t want to give up an out, or put in a pinch hitter any time the situation is remotely tense, it’s unlikely she’s going to develop the confidence it takes to swing the bat effectively.
Then, one day when she comes to the plate in a meaningful game where you have no other options, you’ll have no one to blame for her failure but yourself.
Ok, so does this mean I think you should never pull a pitcher or make another substitution? Of course not.
There are times when it has to be done. If you’re in a “win or go home” situation and your pitcher is starting to struggle, you’re probably going to want to look to the bullpen sooner rather than later.
Although even then, if you truly believe in that pitcher, you might consider leaving her in a little longer with the understanding you may not win this lesser tournament in order to make sure she’s ready for a more important one down the road.
Same with the fielder or hitter. If the fielder looks like she’s not mentally focused, or is herself panicking over the error(s), and there is a risk of elimination (or even dropping needlessly into the loser’s bracket), you may have to take her out.
But if you do, don’t just send her to Purgatory. Talk to her, try to reinforce her confidence, and assure her she’ll get more opportunities. Today is just a tough day.
If you have to DH or pinch hit for a hitter, let her know it’s not the end of the world. This particular situation needed a change, but she will have more opportunities to work herself back into the batting lineup, because the change is situational, not permanent.
Then live up to it.
Bottom line is there are times when hard decisions have to be made and players need to come out. But all too many times, coaches are making those decisions for the wrong reasons.
Instead of making a knee jerk decision at the first sign of trouble, give those players an opportunity to face the tough challenges and work their way out of an issue for a little longer than you might be comfortable. You never know when it will be just the thing to spur the creation of your team’s next superstar.
And help you build a reputation as a genius at handling players.
My good friend Jay Bolden and I have started a new podcast called “From the Coach’s Mouth” where we interview coaches from all areas and levels of fastpitch softball as well as others who may not be fastpitch people but have lots of interesting ideas to contribute.
You can find it here on Spotify, as well as on Apple Podcasts, Pandora, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you’re searching, be sure to put the name in quotes, i.e., “From the Coach’s Mouth” so it goes directly to it.
Give it a listen and let us know what you think. And be sure to hit the Like button and subscribe to Life in the Fastpitch Lane for more content like this.
Top photo by Kindel Media on Pexels.com
Understanding Why Athletes Quit Playing
As another softball season heads into the final stretch run, many softball players are making the tough decision whether to stay with their current team or make a switch. For some, though, the decision is a little different: they are deciding whether to play at all anymore.
There are lots of reasons players stop playing. But in survey after survey, you’ll find one common reason overriding all the rest: it’s just not fun anymore.
When kids are small, they sign up for sports because they look like fun. Sometimes they find it’s not as much fun from the inside (for example, kids who don’t like to run usually don’t stick with soccer or basketball) so they move on to something else.
Once they find something they like, though, they tend to stick with it. At least for a while.
For some, the fun just keeps growing. They like the act of playing, they like the competition, they like the atmosphere.
But for others, it can become overwhelming. And that’s when they start to consider whether playing ball is something they want to continue doing.
This lack of fun can take a number of forms. Some call it burnout.
They’ve been doing the same thing over and over, constantly working on their games to get better. While that can be a driver for some, for others they just grow tired of it and decide they need to move on to something else.
For others it’s outside pressures, especially as they get better and begin to play at higher levels. These higher levels come with higher expectations, from coaches, from parents/guardians, from fans, from recruiters and others.
There is more pressure to win, and losses become more traumatic, especially if they’re playing for coaches with a “win at all costs” mindset.
Some thrive on the pressure, but others find themselves overwhelmed by it. They lose their sense of self and the reasons they started to play, and all they can think about is how bad it will be for them if they fail.
Eventually they succumb to those negative thoughts and just feel like they need to get out from under it so they stop playing before everyone thinks badly of them (in their minds).
In some cases the responsibilities of playing make them feel like they have no time for anything else. Yes, playing at a high level often requires sacrifice, such as missing a trip to the amusement park or a concert or a bestie’s birthday party because they have yet another tournament that weekend.
If there’s nothing they’d rather be doing they don’t mind missing those events. But if they start feeling like softball is starting to keep them from living the rest of their lives, they may decide to play at a lower, less-demanding level or not play at all.
So when does this feeling begin to occur? Typically it’s around the age of 13.
The game starts getting harder and their lives start getting more complicated. Instead of just playing for the love of the sport, they start feeling like they have to perform in a certain way in order to attract the attention of colleges so they can secure a scholarship to their college of choice.
If they don’t, even temporarily they can feel like they’re not enough or like they’ve let the people they love down. Rather than risking it, they decide to eliminate the problem by dropping out of the sport entirely.
So how do we keep that from happening and keep more players in the sport they love?
One is to understand that they’re not perfect. Your favorite player is going to go through tough times.
They’re going to strike out a little too often, or walk a few too many hitters, or make a few too many errors, or have some other issue. Instead of coming down on them about it, recognize that they didn’t fail on purpose.
Then give them the support they need. Encourage them, and help them through the tough times.
Remind them that it’s not the end of the world, and one bad game or even a series of bad games doesn’t have to define them.
Maybe they need a little extra practice time, and if you can help them with it do so. But maybe they need a break, something to take their minds off a bad game or series, so take them out to dinner or to a movie or to their favorite beverage retailer and talk about anything but softball.
In other words, help them clear their heads of the bad juju that’s going on in there and let go of whatever is dragging them down.
If they feel like the level they’re playing at is too much, talk to them and maybe suggest they drop a level to see if they can find their love of the sport again rather than abandon it entirely. Just like learning a new skill, sometimes you have to take a step backwards before you can take a step forward. They may find themselves reinvigorated and may even want to start pursuing it a higher level again once the pressure has been relieved.
You know your child best, so think it through and help her find the fun and the love she once had so she can get it back again.
Now, understand there can be other reasons a player may not want to play anymore. She may still love the game but her life priorities have changed. That’s not what we’re talking about here.
I’m thinking more about the player who has had the love of the game sucked out of her; she probably still wants to play but can’t quite get back into the right headspace.
The fun doesn’t have to be gone forever. Recognize the warning signs and help your player get back on track, and maybe everyone involved can enjoy this great sport a little longer.
Making Sure You’re Prepared for the Storm
June 1 marked the beginning of the hurricane season on the Atlantic coast of the US according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s (NOAA) National Weather Service. So far so good, as there haven’t been any hurricanes yet, but you know they’re coming – even if you don’t know when.
I bring up this fact because of a conversation Jay Bolden and I had a few months back with Shawnee Harle, a mental toughness coach, on our From the Coach’s Mouth podcast. This link goes to that specific episode, although you’re always free to browse all the content we’ve created to date.
In that episode Shawnee made the statement that even when things are going well athletes must always “prepare for the storm, because the storm is always come.” What an awesome way to approach it, don’t you think? That’s why I thought today why not dig into that analogy a little further?
Think about what is (or at least should be) happening right now along the Gulf of Mexico and the entire Eastern seaboard. So far there hasn’t been much hurricane or even tropical storm activity.
Yet NOAA is predicting a 60% chance of an above-normal hurricane season. If that occurs it means tremendous risk to life, health, and property in the affected areas.
The people in those areas should know by now how bad things can get, so if they’re smart right now they are laying in supplies such as bottled water, non-perishable food (including pet food for those who have pets, or just prefer the taste themselves I suppose), cleaning supplies, toilet paper, batteries, flashlights, candles, and other essential goods that could be in short supply should a hurricane hit their area.
They should also be checking to ensure the bungees they use to tie down outdoor furniture are in good working order, that their plywood is ready to cover the windows, and that other precautions are available and accessible. There isn’t a storm right now to deal with, but they know a storms is inevitable and that they should be fully prepared for when it comes.
The same is true for athletes in general and fastpitch softball players in particular. Fastpitch softball is a game built on failure, designed to break your heart.
Or to paraphrase Billy Bob Thornton in the Bad News Bears remake, “(Softball’s) hard, guys. I mean, it really is. You can love it but, believe me, it don’t always love you back. It’s kind of like dating a German chick, you know?”
Even when things are going great, there’s always a monster lurking around the corner, waiting to take you down. You’re on a hot streak hitting and then suddenly, for no reason, you’re striking out, popping up, and grounding out on a regular basis.
You didn’t change anything in your swing or your approach. The game just decided you needed some humbling.
Or you’re a Gold Glove-level shortstop who one day misses a ground ball on a bad hop and the next thing you know you’re fumbling easy chances or throwing the ball into the parking lot instead of to first base. Things that were once routine are no more, and you end up with the “yips” to the point where you’re hoping the ball goes anywhere on the field except to you.
Or you’re a pitcher who suddenly can’t find the strike zone with her best pitches, and instead of dominating the dish you’re worried about walking or hitting batters. And the more you worry and try to fix it, the worse it gets.
When those or similar things happen – and they do to even the best players – that’s not the time to try to figure out what to do about it.
Instead, you want to prepare in advance for the storm, according to Shawnee. When things are going well, and you’re calm and thinking straight, THAT is the time to start preparing your plan for when things go South on you. Because sooner or later they will, and if you’re not ready you’ll see your mental lawn furniture flying by the window and you’ll be wishing you had some drinking water and at least a few granola bars to get you through the next few days.
Of course, most of us don’t do that. It’s like back pain.
We rarely do any of the stretches or exercises we should to prevent back pain. Instead, we don’t think about it until we suddenly can’t move, then desperately start looking for a chiropractor or massage therapist who can give us instant relief from our months or years of neglect.
By preparing ahead of time you will have a game plan available that you can execute when things start to go bad instead of waiting until you feel like you’re drowning.
For example, most mental game coaches will talk about how you need positive self-talk in a playing crisis so you can chase away the negatives. But it’s hard to come up with anything positive to say when you’re 0-for-the tournament and you’ve made three errors.
You’re far more likely to tell yourself that you stink and to worry incessantly that you’re going to be benched – to the point where it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But if you start writing down some positive thoughts when you’re on top of the world and tuck them away for when the storm hits, perhaps you’ll be able to push those negative thoughts out and get back on track faster.
Another idea is to create a highlight reel you can use to remind yourself of how good you really are. These days, game clips are all over the place, from parents, family friends, social media, GameChanger and other sources.
Rather than waiting until the storm is battering your psyche and then trying to find some good ones, capture a few and put them together as they happen. That way your highlight reel is just a click away and you can remember what it feels like to be on top of the game instead of under its heel.
You can put together a series of tension-relievers that will help you manage the moment too. Breathing exercises are good; rituals are good; visualization of success is good; techniques such as picking up a clump of infield dirt, squeezing all your fears, anxieties, and negative thoughts into it and then throwing them away is good.
There are lots of ways to gain control over the storm. If you’re not good at it yourself, seek out the help of someone like Shawnee who not only knows what to do but can be a calm, impartial guide who helps you face whatever demons you have and learn how to get rid of them before they take over you brain.
The key is to understand that no matter how good or great you are, the storm is coming – because it’s always coming. Just ask Simone Biles.
What you need to do is face that fact and, just like the people in the Gulf and on the Eastern Seaboard, make sure you’re prepared for that storm long before it hits.
It won’t keep the storm from hitting you. But it will sure help minimize the damage so you can get back to normal as quickly as you can again.
Hurricane photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
The Power of a Kind Word (or Two)
A couple of nights ago one of my hitting students, we’ll call her Persephone (for no reason other than it amuses me), came in for her first lesson in a few weeks. She is playing high school ball right now and has been tearing it up for the most part, but Persephone has had a little less success lately and decided it was time for a tune-up.
Her dad walked in before her and gave me a heads-up that Persephone had had a rough game that night, going 0-3, and was also having a little family-based teen angst on top of it. Always nice to have some warning in those cases.
When Persephone came in (wish I’d picked a name that is easier to type) I could see her mental state was no minor issue. She was an emotional pot ready to boil over.
She was trying to keep the lid on it, but it was rattling pretty hard. Most of the time she is a pretty even-keel, laid back young woman but even the toughest among us can get overwhelmed at times, and that’s what was happening here.
We started into the lesson and I asked her about the game. She told me she just couldn’t hit the pitcher, and in particular was unable to touch her curveball. Persephone told me she was swinging and missing it by quite a bit.
Her dad had told me in the beginning that it wasn’t just Persephone who had that trouble that night; the opposing pitcher was one walk shy of a perfect game. But Persephone is a team leader who sets high standards for her performance, so it didn’t matter to her that everyone else struggled; she felt she could have and should have hit that girl anyway.
I talked to her some about the mental game, staying focused on the process instead of outcomes, keeping it simple, how to relieve stress at the plate, all of that. It helped somewhat.
When I went to front toss I identified a mechanical flaw too – she was pulling her front side out instead of hitting around it, so it’s no wonder she couldn’t touch those outside curveballs. She made the correction and started hitting a little better, but I could see she was still in her own head too much.
Then the miracle happened.
There was another hitting instructor doing a lesson in the cage next to us. His name is Dave Doerhoefer, and we have known each other for more years than either of us probably cares to admit.
Dave is a friend as well as a great coach, and we often have chats about the current state of the sport, especially when it comes to teams playing too many games and not practicing and teaching enough.
He was working with his student on firming up her front side as she went into rotation instead of letting it collapse but she was having trouble grasping the concept. His line of sight took him directly toward our cage and he saw how hard Persephone was swinging the bat and how sweet her technique was, so he asked Persephone if his student could watch her a few times because she has such a nice swing.
It was literally like the clouds had parted and the sun was doing a happy dance in her heart.
Dave’s question totally pulled Persephone out of her self-inflicted funk and her face just lit up. Then she started lighting up my front toss pitches too – including the outside ones.
That one simple question, which was also in effect a great, unsolicited compliment from someone that had no stake in the process but just liked what she was doing, turned Persephone’s entire approach around.
Later I thanked Dave for his kind words and told him what it had meant to Persephone. He shrugged and thanked me for telling him that, but admitted he had no motivation in it other than wanting his student to see another hitter doing what he wanted her to do in real time.
Now, I will say Dave may come to regret his kindness because in addition to being a hitting instructor he is also a varsity softball coach at Vernon Hills High School, and his team may play Persephone’s somewhere along the way – perhaps the State playoffs. But I’m sure he’s ok with it because Dave’s #1 focus is on helping fastpitch softball players get better, no matter if they are his or his opponents’.
The point here is it didn’t take much to make Persephone’s day and help her go from feeling bad about herself when she came in to walking on air with a big smile on her face when she left. You have the power to do the same.
When you’re at the field and you see someone do something great, whether it’s a driving big hit or making a diving catch or throwing a knee-buckling changeup or making a heads-up slide, don’t just admire it to yourself. Find that girl after the game and tell her – even if she’s on the opposing team. That goes for parents as well as coaches.
You never know what someone else has been going through, and those few kind words may be just the inspiration they need to keep fighting and overcome their struggles. It only takes a few seconds, but the ripple effect from that encounter might just alter the trajectory of a life in a positive way, even if just by a few degrees.
And the best part? Offering up a sincere compliment now and then doesn’t cost you anything but a little thought and time.
I know some of the happiest stories my students tell me are when an opposing coach or parents tells them they did a great job. So this weekend, get out there and if you see something good say something good about it.
You never know who needs to hear it.
My good friend Jay Bolden and I have started a new podcast called “From the Coach’s Mouth” where we interview coaches from all areas and levels of fastpitch softball as well as others who may not be fastpitch people but have lots of interesting ideas to contribute.
You can find it here on Spotify, as well as on Apple Podcasts, Pandora, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you’re searching, be sure to put the name in quotes, i.e., “From the Coach’s Mouth” so it goes directly to it.
Give it a listen and let us know what you think. And be sure to hit the Like button and subscribe to Life in the Fastpitch Lane for more content like this.
Lead photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
The Best Tryout Advice You’ll Ever Receive
Tryouts are beginning soon for high school fastpitch softball in many parts of the U.S., and with them comes all the anticipation, hopes, dreams, and yes, anxiety typically associated with trying to earn a spot on a team.
Plenty has been written about things you can do to improve your chances of making the team you want, such as hustling, going out of your way to talk to the coaches, taking chances by doing things like diving for balls and so on. Heck, I’ve written a few of them myself.
Today, though, I want to tell you about a secret most players don’t know that can help free them to show the coaches (or evaluators at an open selection event) what they can really do. If you’re a parent, guardian, or friend of a player, please be sure to pass this tip along to them.
Okay, are you ready? Here it is:
The coaches doing the evaluations want you to do well. In fact, they’re really hoping you do.
That’s right. They’re not standing there waiting for you to mess up or looking for things they can criticize to make you feel bad. Instead, they want you to look good.
How can that be, you ask? Why would they care one way or the other?
It’s simple: they have a need to fill or a problem to solve, and if you come out looking great they can fill the need or solve the problem without having to worry about it anymore. In other words it’s in their best interest for you to be awesome.
I actually had this epiphany while listening to the SmartLess podcast with Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett. It’s very entertaining as the three of them interview other celebrities and interesting people; it’s perfect for those long car rides to far-flung games and I highly recommend it.
They were talking about how nervous they would get as young actors auditioning for roles in movies or on TV shows. Then they started directing and producing, putting them on the other side of the audition table, and they realized their main thought there was “I hope this guy/gal is what we need for this role so I can move on to other things.”
It’s the same in fastpitch softball tryouts or evaluation events. The folks with the clipboards have X number of slots to fill.
They want to fill them with quality players as quickly as they can – players about whom everyone will say, “I see why they were selected.” So when you step onto the rubber or into the cage or on the field, they want you to be good.
They need you to be good. They are basically rooting for you to be good.
While I don’t coach teams anymore I can personally confirm from past experience that this approach is true. I never thought about it that way but yes, I hoped every girl I looked at would be awesome because it would make my job easier, especially when it came time to take the field in a game.
Now, I will say in many high school situations the term “tryouts” can be a misnomer. Often most of the team is already selected before the first day.
Still, there is usually a need somewhere, an open slot that needs to be filled for the team to be complete. The coach isn’t trying to eliminate those who can’t fill the spot; he or she is looking for the one person who can.
So when you step into the spotlight, don’t think or worry about the outcome. Focus on the process, which is going out there and showing the coach why you are the solution he/she is hoping to find today.
If you perceive the coach or evaluators as rooting FOR you instead of AGAINST you, you’ll stand a much better chance of setting any nervousness aside and performing to the best of your abilities. With the result of greatly increasing your chances of being selected.
Now go out there and show them what you can do! Good luck to all.
My good friend Jay Bolden and I have started a new podcast called “From the Coach’s Mouth” where we interview coaches from all areas and levels of fastpitch softball as well as others who may not be fastpitch people but have lots of interesting ideas to contribute.
You can find it here on Spotify, as well as on Apple Podcasts, Pandora, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you’re searching, be sure to put the name in quotes, i.e., “From the Coach’s Mouth” so it goes directly to it.
Give it a listen and let us know what you think. And be sure to hit the Like button and subscribe to Life in the Fastpitch Lane for more content like this.
Lead photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com
Preparing for the Inevitble Storms
On this week’s episode of the From the Coach’s Mouth podcast, Jay Bolden and I spoke with Shawnee Harle, 2X Olympian with the Canadian Basketball National Team and now a Mental Toughness Coach with her own business called Winning Matters. While Shawnee had a lot of great insights into the mental game, there was one concept in particular that has been on my mind today: preparing for the storm.
Shawnee said that what most athletes and coaches miss is that there is always a storm coming – kind of like Florida during hurricane season. It’s not a question of if, but rather than of when.
Through experience, most people in Florida have learned that when a hurricane is on its way it’s best to put up the plywood over the windows, lock down anything that can be easily lifted (such as patio furniture), and lay in supplies such as food, water, toilet paper, and bandages so they’re ready for when the storm hits.
If it’s not that bad that’s ok – all they lost was a little time and a little storage space for supplies they didn’t need after all (but can use later). If it is bad, however, they have what they need to get through it until the storm passes and things get back to normal.
Unfortunately, many coaches and athletes like to pretend that the storm isn’t going to hit them. “I’ve put in the work,” they say, or “the negatives won’t hit me if I just stay positive.” But that’s a fool’s position.
According to Shawnee, the storm hits everyone sooner or later. Pitchers have a rough outing or two, or suddenly lose their best pitch for no apparent reason. Hitters go into slumps out of nowhere.
Catchers suddenly can’t throw baserunners out or start having pitches they’d normally catch glance off their gloves. Fielders start making fielding errors or sailing balls high instead of throwing to the base.
No one knows why the softball gods suddenly become angry and throw their wrath at a particular player. They just do, and it happens to everyone.
So knowing that, the question is what are you doing to prepare yourself (or your players)? Have you thought about how you’re going to deal with it and get back on track or are you going to allow yourself to get caught by surprise and then try to ride it out?
Now, some coaches will take the “Suck it up buttercup” approach. They see a problem and think if they tell players to “toughen up” or to “get your head in the game” they will solve the problem.
In reality, they will most likely make it worse.
The better approach is to heed the old saying “In times of peace, prepare for war” and start getting your mental game toolkit together before you need it. Just like smart Floridians gather up their supplies ahead of the hurricane rather than during the middle of it.
There are plenty of resources out there that can help you learn how to prepare for the coming storm. A mental toughness coach such as Shawnee is certainly a good one, especially if you’re playing on a bigger stage where the pressure is extreme.
But there are plenty of self-help options out there. The book Heads-Up Baseball: Playing the Game One Pitch at a Time is a great starting point in my opinion. It’s easy to follow, with great exercises that help you learn to control yourself and understand what else you can or cannot control.
There are many other books, videos, and training tools as well, all designed to address the storms that are inevitable in sports as well as in life.
The key, though, is not to wait until you’re facing the storm but to get out ahead of it. You wouldn’t suddenly try to learn how to hit or pitch or perform any other skill in the middle of a season.
You shouldn’t wait until you’re in the middle of a crisis to try to develop the skills you need to get out of one either.
If you polled 1,000 coaches and athletes and asked them how important the mental game is to success, I’d bet the overwhelming majority, like 90%+, would say “very important.” Ask that same 1,000 how much time they spend on it, though, and you’d probably get an answer of 5% of their time or less.
Face the facts: the storm is coming. It might not be today, or even tomorrow, but sooner or later it will hit. Start preparing for it now and you’ll find you’ll get through it faster and stronger.
The Importance of Intention in Achieving Fastpitch Success
As a private instructor, one of the questions I often get from parents of new students is, “How much should my daughter practice?” While well-intended (see what I did there?) the question is usually a tipoff that said new student generally doesn’t practice very much and the parent is looking for someone who isn’t them to make their daughter practice more.
My answer typically is, “As much as it takes.” I say that because practicing is not a time-based phenomenon. It’s goal-based.
Yes, it would be nice if you could quantify practice into increments of time, such as practice three times per week for a half hour and you will be great.
The reality, however, is it doesn’t quite work that way. Because basing practice on the amount of time ignores an essential ingredient to success in fastpitch softball, or any other endeavor for that matter: intention.
When you perform whatever skill it is you’re working on in practice or a game, you have to have an intention to do it at the highest, most focused, most energetic level you’re capable of on that particular day. The measurable outcomes will vary from day to day depending on factors such as whether you’re tired, hungry, stressed, injured, happy, inspired, “in the zone,” etc.
But the intention to do your best with whatever you have that day should always stay the same. Anything less and you’re basically cheating yourself.
Think of it this way: your ability to execute in a game is greatly affected by how you execute when you’re working on those skills.
If you base your practice on time alone it’s easy to walk through the motions without putting any major effort in. Ask any kid who was forced to take piano lessons from 150 year old nun who seemed to go out of her way to find the most uninteresting music every written for her students to play. Sorry, just had a traumatic flashback.
Back to our topic, let’s take a pitcher who is supposedly trying to increase her speed. Sure, she’s going to a pitching lane three days a week with her mom or dad and throwing for an hour.
But how is she throwing? Is she just throwing pitches from full distance in a way that is easy for her? Or does she have the intention of throwing harder and thus is doing things that might be less fun and less comfortable for her, such as working on her arm whip from a close distance into a net or trying to improve her leg drive by exploding out as quickly as she can without the ball?
Is a hitter just swinging the bat and knocking 100 balls off the tee because she heard somewhere that to improve you should take 100 swings a day? Or is she focused on trying to get her sequence correct and feeling the energy flow up through her body and out her bat with the intention of seeing the ball fly off and hearing a resounding crack?
One might drive minor improvement through sheer volume. The other will take an average or even good hitter and help her become a great hitter in a shorter amount of time.
That’s what having intention is all about. It’s not just about putting in time to check the box.
It’s about putting in real work to ensure that when the game is on the line you’re prepared to perform at the highest level of which you’re capable.
That doesn’t mean everyone has to practice like a maniac. If you’re playing softball for fun in your local rec league and not really too concerned about how you perform overall you don’t need to bring a whole lot of intensity to your practice routines.
As long as you’re doing something a couple of times a week you’ll probably improve enough by osmosis or sheer repetition to perform at an adequate level.
But if you’re a youth player and your goal is to play in college, or win a high school state championship, or dominate in travel ball (even if you don’t plan to play in college), or win one of the big tournaments, you need practice with intention.
If you’re already a college player and your goal is to get off the bench, or win a conference championship, or play in the Women’s College World Series, you’d better be bringing a whole boatload of intention not just to every practice but to every rep you take during that practice. Because if you don’t, someone else will, and they’ll be getting all the glory while you’re stuck watching from the sidelines.
The good news is intention is something you have complete control over. All you have to do is decide you want something bad enough and then put in the effort to get there. It doesn’t cost a cent and it’s readily available whenever you want it.
If you really, truly want to get better and become whatever qualifies in your mind as a top player, don’t just go through the motions and put in the “required” time. Starting cranking up your intention to perform at the highest level you can manage every single day and you’ll find improvement comes faster and more easily.
Life in the Fastpitch Lane 