Category Archives: Mental game
Greatness Starts with Polishing the Forks
The Hulu TV show The Bear just concluded its five-season run. While I get that it’s not for everyone (my wife for example), I thoroughly enjoyed the show and am sorry there will be no more episodes.
Since this isn’t a pop culture blog you’re probably wondering why I’m talking about some random show. The answer is fastpitch softball players (and their parents) can learn an important lesson from what I think is one of its best episodes.
The premise in the second season is that Carmen, a high-end chef as well as the youngest brother in a family that owns a Chicago-style sandwich shop called The Original Beef, wants to create a new high-end restaurant as an offshoot of the sandwich place. As part of that, he has to get one of the employees on board.
He has known this employee, Richie, since childhood. In fact, they call each other “cousin” (although they’re not actually cousins because that’s how close they are). Richie has been managing the sandwich shop since the older brother’s unexpected death, and he’s not too keen on the changes Carmen is making. A lot of detail, I know, but bear with me (no pun intended).
Richie argues with Carmen all the time about the way he’s doing things. But Carmen is the boss, so at one point he sends Richie to go work at a local high-end restaurant owned by a friend of his that is recognized internationally as the world’s best restaurant. Needless to say Richie is not happy about it, but he goes, reluctantly.
On his first day he walks in expecting to be given something important to do. I mean, after all, he’s been running his own successful sandwich shop.
Instead, he’s assigned to polish forks. For nine hours. That’s it, just polish forks.
At one point he asks the manager who has been assigned to oversee him what comes after polishing forks, expecting the next step will be something more at his perceived level. The manager drily replies “spoons.”
Richie is convinced Carmen sent him on this assignment to punish him for disagreeing with him, and his bad attitude continues to get worse. He does a half-baked job of polishing some of the forks and he’s told to do it again to remove the streaks. Richie asks what difference does it make, and he’s told in this restaurant a lot.
Because people don’t come there just for the food. They come for the experience. The restaurant is very expensive, and some people save money for a year just to be able to afford to eat there once.
At one point after more complaining the manager asks Richie to step outside, and Richie says “You’ve really drunk the Kool-Aid here. Why?” The manager tells him why, and from that point on Richie’s attitude totally changes and he launches on the best redemption arc in the entire series. In my opinion. From that point on he buys in to what Carmen is doing with The Bear more than anyone else, even Carmen, and it totally changes his own life.
If you’re still with me, the lesson here is how important doing the little things (like polishing the forks) is within the bigger picture.
All too often players want to skip the drills and working on the nuances of particular movements and go right to the finished skills.
Pitchers want to throw full pitches, not work from the K position or on spins close-up. Hitters want to hit off machines or live pitchers instead of doing one-hand drills off the tee or working on specific elements of their swings.
Fielders want to take ground balls or fly balls off the bat instead of working on their glove work or on positioning from a toss. And so on.
To be the best you can be, you have to realize every detail of what you’re doing matters. A one-degree difference in throwing angle on a riseball can make the difference between a swing and a miss and a walk – or a home run.
A one-degree drop of the bat or reduction of the angle as it’s approaching the ball can make the difference between that home run and just a dramatic fly ball out. A slight rearrangement of the feet when throwing across the infield under pressure can mean the difference between an inning-ending out or a game-deflating two-base error.
To do any of that or a thousand other things that are required for success in fastpitch softball you can’t just take them for granted. You have to work on them. Every. Single. Day.
Yes, “polishing the forks” can be mind-numbingly boring. It can make you wonder who’s going to notice, and it can make you feel like you’re falling behind on learning all the fancier skills your peers are telling you they are learning
But trust me, nothing is more important than perfecting these little details to the best of your ability. They are the foundation of everything else that is to come.
If your foundation is shaky, it doesn’t matter how fancy the rest of the building is. It’s not going to be built to last, especially when the pressure is on.
Breaking things down this way isn’t a punishment, Like polishing the forks, it’s the start of a path to enlightenment that will help you learn and grow and ultimately excel.
So the next time you’re given something basic to do, don’t feel bad or angry about it. Don’t complain about how you’re past this, or you deserve better, or your coach hates you.
Carmen sent Richie to the other restaurant not because he was mad at him, but because he saw something special in Richie that even Richie himself couldn’t see. And Carmen wanted to help Richie get out of his own way so he could fulfill that destiny.
Carmen was also smart enough to know Richie would never learn that lesson directly from him. He needed to hear it, and see it, and experience it through someone else.
So the next time you’re told to “polish the forks,” don’t see it as a punishment or a failure. See it for what it is – an opportunity to rise above where you are now and chase after greatness.
You just may surprise yourself.
What Fastpitch Pitchers Can Learn from Pro Wrestling
NOTE: What I’m about to describe can be used by any player. But since pitchers are usually the ones who are most directly targeted, I’m going to focus on them.
The other day I was working with a pitching student who had played against a team she used to be on. She and her mom told me she pitched fairly well, but that she had gotten a little upset when the other team started doing a lot of sing-songy chants directed at her with the purpose of trying to rattle her.
This was in 12U travel ball by the way. First of all, I personally believe there is no place in the game for directing insulting chants or remarks at an opposing player.
Trying to ruin a teen or pre-teen’s confidence by saying insulting things to her is just plain classless. There’s enough of that on social media already.
It’s also a comment on the other team’s ability. If that’s what it takes for them to win maybe they’d better go back to the drawing board and work on their own skills.
But if you’re the pitcher who has that stuff being directed at you, there isn’t much you can do to prevent it from happening. You have no control over how the other team acts (and apparently neither do their coaches or parents).
People will tell a pitcher to just ignore it, but that can be difficult to do. In my experience young females are far more likely to listen to the bad things said about them than the good things anyway.
I have another solution that I told my pitching student about, and she seemed to like the idea. It comes from the world of professional wrestling, i.e., WWE, AEW, NWA, etc. and basically involves steering into the insults rather than trying to tune them out.
In pro wrestling there are “Faces” and “Heels.” Faces are the heroes, the ones you’re supposed to admire and root for, essentially the good guys, who represent Mom, apple pie, and all of that.
The Heels, on the other hand, are the ones you’re supposed to root against. They are demeaning to the audience and other wrestlers, cheat by doing dirty things to their opponents when the ref is looking the other way, hit opponents with chairs, and otherwise act outside the bounds of human decency.
When the Faces are introduced, everyone is supposed to cheer (and usually does). They’re there to see that justice is done and the forces of good prevail.
When the Heels are introduced, though, everyone is supposed to boo (and most usually do, although they have their fans too). It’s what the Heels do when they’re booed, though, that is the point of our story today.
They don’t act shocked, or hurt, or look like someone just ran over their dogs. Instead, they steer into the boos, drinking them up like they’re refreshing water. They strut around the ring and motion for the fans to give them more of it with a look of satisfaction or even pleasure on their faces.
That’s the attitude I think pitchers should adopt. When the insulting cheers come on, don’t sink into a shell; embrace them!
Pitchers can start by pretending they can’t quite hear the cheers and signaling to the opposing bench to say them louder by holding a hand to their ears. If they continue, pitchers can smile and walk around in the circle waving their arms as if to ask for more.
By showing it not only doesn’t bother them (even if it secretly does) but the pitchers are apparently enjoying hearing it, they can essentially take all the fun out of it for their opponents. The more the pitchers look like they are loving the insults – and that the only effect they’re having is pumping up the pitchers even more – the less likely the other team is to continue.
After all, why would you continue a behavior that seems to be helping the opposing pitcher instead of hurting her? Seems kind of counter-productive to me.
The thing pitchers need to keep in mind is that in most cases the other team wouldn’t be doing all of this if they thought they could easily win the game without it. No, they’re going to do it when they’re worried they might lose.
And even if that’s how they treat all pitchers regardless of skill level, showing you’re not only not intimidated but actually are enjoying the attention is a quick way to neutralize the other team’s behavior.
The only other X factor in all of this is how the umpire reacts to this little Heel performance. But if he/she says anything to the pitcher, she (or her coach) should just say, “You get them to stop with the negative cheers and I’ll stop what I’m doing.”
Nothing like a little self-awareness to put it all in perspective.
We often say the first step in being confident is to act like you already are confident – even if you’re not. Putting on a little Heel performance when the negative cheers or comments start to fly is a great way to get into the right mindset and help pitchers overcome the risk of their opponents getting in their heads.
And of course, the irony is by acting like a pro wrestling Heel, the pitchers actually present themselves as the heroes of the story who are standing up for themselves and all that is good and right in the world. Not a bad place to be!
Things Pitchers Can’t Help
Let’s start today’s post with this simple fact: pitching is hard. In fact, it’s not just hard, it’s incredibly hard.
And I’m not talking about the physical toll only, either, that results from having to bring great energy to every single play of every game they’re pitching. There’s also the mental toll of what happens when things don’t go right, as often happens – even at the highest levels of the game as we’re seeing on TV as they say.
All of that is compounded by the type of personality that says yes, give me the ball, give me the responsibility for initiating every play, and have every single person on the field, in the dugout, in the stands, and in the bad parent section of the outfield watch me intensely every time I step onto the pitcher’s plate o throw a pitch. What kind of normal human being volunteers for that type of pressure?
So with all that said, it’s no surprise that pitchers often accept not only their rightful share of the blame when things go wrong; they often take on all of it, whether that’s warranted or not. And most of the time it’s not.
So for all you pitchers, coaches, and pitcher parents who are living and dying on every pitch and every play, I’ve put together this little guide for which responsibilities actually lie with the pitcher and which do not. If you have a pitcher who is suffering through a crisis of confidence because she isn’t perfect all the time, show this list to her and let her know hey – it’s not all on you.
#1 – The Plague of Dropped Third Strikes (D3Ks)
We see this one a lot. The pitcher is pitching effectively, getting hitters to swing and miss on borderline strikes or even balls that look like strikes, but then – the catcher drops the pitch or even misses it completely. Once or twice in a game you can understand that – things happen, even to good catchers.
But when it becomes a pattern, like, say, happening two or three times in an inning, that becomes a problem. If the affected hitters reach base you not only lose an out you should have had; you have a potential run on base that should never have had the chance to score.
When pitchers – especially younger ones – see this, their tendency is to think they have to do something to fix it and cut down on the D3Ks. The usual solution is to try to throw pitches that are easier for the catcher to catch.
The problem with that is those pitches are also easier to hit. Unless hitters are swinging at pitches way over their heads, or way off the plate to the point the catcher can’t reach them without ordinary or even good effort, those D3Ks are not the pitcher’s problem to solve.
She’s doing her job. The problem needs to be solved by the catcher, her coaches (train her up, even if you have to stay after practice to do it), her parents (work with her on non-practice/game days and/or get her catching lessons), or even the catcher herself asking her teammates or friends to give her extra practice.
If I’m advising the pitcher, I’m telling her to keep doing what she’s doing, and maybe even try to get the pitch out a little more so she’s developing herself to compete against better hitters. Maybe if enough runners reach base someone will take one of the actions above and try to fix it – at which point everyone (including the catcher herself) benefits.
#2 – Errors in the Field
Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not the pitcher’s job to strike out every hitter. Sure, strike outs are nice, and they’re definitely helpful because they take some variables out of the play. They also show well for bragging rights.
But they are not a pitcher’s main job. Instead, the pitcher’s main job is to get outs any way she can. If that means inducing hitters to continually hit weak ground balls and easy pop-ups instead of striking them out, so be it.
I’ve known and coached a lot of successful pitchers who didn’t rack up a huge number of Ks, yet somehow they won a lot of ballgames because they made it easy for the 7 fielders behind them to do their jobs. There’s nothing like a 5-pitching inning on a hot and humid day to keep your team fresh and ready to keep playing. (I’m looking at you, Katie Wirtz.)
But for that strategy to be successful, the fielders do have to do their jobs – catch the ball, throw the ball, get the easy out.
If they’re not doing that pitchers can be tempted to try to take on too much and force strikeouts. That’s usually when they start over-throwing the ball instead of pitching with solid mechanics, causing them to get wild and start tossing the ball all over the place.
Errors in the field aren’t the pitcher’s responsibility unless she’s making them herself. Instead it’s again up to the field players, their parents, and the coaches to help them get better so they cut down on the errors to give their team a better chance of winning.
#3 – A High ERA
Ok, this one is conditional, as I will get to in a minute. But these days stats are pretty easy to obtain thanks to apps such as GameChanger, so it’s tempting for a pitcher to go in, look at her stats, and compare herself to other pitchers on the team, or on other teams. Not to mention for other pitchers to repeat what they heard their parents say about them.
Yet the viability of most stats is directly dependent on the quality of the person scoring the game. God bless anyone willing to keep the book, but there’s a huge difference between someone who knows the ins and outs (no pun intended) of scoring a game and someone who is just doing their best to mark something down out of the goodness of their hearts.
ERA is a stat that is dependent on whether a runner reached base as the result of a clean hit or an error. A scorekeeper who marks every ball that’s put in play as a hit, even if there was an obvious error, is going to cause ERAs to go sky high.
Now, I will say a lot of scorekeepers will mark the most obvious errors, such as Little Suzy (poor Suzy, always getting picked on) dropping a pop-up that’s hit right to her or fumbling a weak ground ball or fielding it cleanly and then throwing it into the parking lot. But there are a lot more possibilities for errors.
The definition of an error is basically the failure to successfully get the out on a play that required ordinary effort. So if an outfielder runs up to a fly ball, stops, and lets the ball hit the ground, that’s an error even though she didn’t touch it. If a shortstop stands like a statue as a medium ground ball goes by her two feet to her left, that’s an error.
Then there are the cases where scorekeepers cook the books a little. They mark an error a hit in one case and not in another not because they don’t know better but because they’re actively trying to help one pitcher look better than another.
I don’t think that happens often, but it definitely does happen.
No matter the reason, if a pitcher has a high ERA because she’s throwing meatballs all day to hitters that’s on her. If it’s because errors are being marked as hits for whatever reason, it’s not.
#4 – A Low Strike/High Walk Percentage
Again, this one is conditional. If a pitcher is throwing the ball into the dirt, wide of the batter’s box, over the backstop, etc., that’s on her and she needs to own it.
But there are other cases where that’s not true. An umpire with an inconsistent strike zone can make it difficult for a pitcher to know where to throw the ball to get a strike.
Same with an umpire with an inappropriately small strike zone for the age group. As we mentioned earlier, pitching is already difficult enough without making the strike zone the size of a shoebox.
Now, that said, if that’s the case the pitcher does have a responsibility to adjust to wherever the umpire is calling strikes. But that can be difficult for pitchers with only a year or two’s worth of experience.
And if they are successful in finding that zone, don’t be surprised if they start getting pummeled. Hitters aren’t stupid, and their job gets a whole lot easier if they only really have to worry about swinging at one location – even if it’s their weakest location.
#5 – Being Overmatched
This can happen too, especially at the younger ages.
Sometimes the coach figures the best chance of winning is to put his/her Ace up against a really strong team, only to realize about 10 minutes in that the Ace isn’t up to the task yet. Sometimes the coach chooses to enter a tournament based on dates and location rather than level of competition and ends up learning the hard way that a little more research can sometimes save a lot of heartache.
Sometimes the coach sees improvement in his/her team and consciously decides to test them against a higher level of competition, only to discover they’re not ready yet. And sometimes the coach takes the old axiom about iron forging iron a little too seriously and I guess figures a weekend of good old fashioned buttkicking is just what the team needs to get better.
Whatever the reason, when a pitcher finds herself in that situation all she can do is do the best she can, learn what she can from it, and keep working with a goal of making a better showing the next time she sees a team or group of teams like that.
The Realities
There are times when pitchers need to step up and take responsibility for their shortcomings in a game. They have to control their controllables and do everything they can to get themselves ready each and every time they step into the circle.
But there are also a whole lot of other factors they can’t control, and if they try to take responsibility for those too they’re going to end up hating the position – and we don’t want to see that.
Helping your favorite pitcher(s) understand the differences between the two is a great way to help avoid unwarranted unhappiness and keep them on a path of learning, and growth. Hopefully this little guide will help.
Lead photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
Beware the Slow, Hidden Erosion of Skills
Most people in the fastpitch softball world are believers that practicing is essential to building, maintaining, and improving skills. Whether you’re a pitcher, catcher, fielder, or hitter, it’s important to get those practice reps in.
What they don’t often realize, however, is how even with the best dedication to practice there is another factor that can erode those skills – a lack of gametime experience.
Let’s take pitchers for example. You can get individual instruction, do bullpens two, three, four times per week, and even do the lonely practices on your own. But if you’re not getting in-game opportunities, your ability to hit speed, spin, and spot is going to deteriorate.
It doesn’t happen quickly, as it would if you’re not practicing at all. But the fewer innings you get in the circle, the less likely you are to perform well when you do get an opportunity.
Instead of earning 7-10 Ks, throwing 1-2 Ws, and giving up a couple of hits, suddenly you’re only striking out 4, walking 4, and letting up 4 hits. As a result, teams are scoring more runs against you (earned or unearned).
At that point you coach begins to lose a little confidence in you and gives even fewer innings, maybe waiting for “safe” situations (translation: being well in front or well behind). Your skills deteriorate a little more, and the downward spiral continues.
Yet that reduction in quality probably has less to do with physical skills than it does with mental factors.
If you’re getting a decent number of innings, you’re far more likely to feel confident in what you’re doing, which means you’ll be more aggressive and more mentally positive in your approach. You’ll perform better, and look like a good choice when it’s time to make playing time decisions
If your innings are being reduced, however, you’ll probably feel more pressure to perform. You’ll become more conscious of what you’re doing, and will focus more on outcomes than on the process.
That misplaced focus will make you tighter and will likely cause you to try to force the outcomes (for example, trying to force strikes instead of letting them happen). The net result is you won’t perform as well, leading your coach to feel like using you is taking too much of a risk, which means your innings will be reduced, which means you’ll feel even more pressure to produce and probably do even worse.
It’s a vicious cycle.
The same is true for anything on the field. Hitters who are confident are far more likely to make good contact than hitters who are worried that if they don’t get a hit on the next at-bat they will be benched.
Fielders who are worried about making a throwing error are likely to tighten up their throw, ruining their mechanics and throwing the ball away anyway. Baserunners who are unsure of whether to take the extra base may stop rather than take a chance, or hesitate and then get thrown out because they made their decision too late.
So what can you do about all this? It depends on the situation.
You can start by controlling the controllables. Do as much physical and mental preparation as you can, and then make sure when you get an opportunity you keep your emotions and mental approach in check.
Confidence is king, so pump up yours any way you can before you take the field and then keep those little demons of self-doubt off your shoulder. Believe in yourself and you’re likely to relieve a lot of the internal pressure.
From there you have to evaluate your situation. If your coach is supportive of you and encouraging you even when you’re not at your best, and continues to give you opportunities even when your current performance level may not always recommend it, count yourself fortunate and give it your all.
If you feel like you’ve lost your coach and that your opportunities are continuing to shrink even when your performance is improving, it might be time to look for another situation where you can start fresh. Professional athletes do that all the time across all sports.
How many times has a bust on one team gone on to become a star (or at least a solid contributor) on another? More than you can count for sure.
It’s fairly easy to do in travel ball (in most areas anyway), and now college athletics has made it easier as well. In high school it’s tougher – you may have to move or attend a school that will be more of a financial burden – so salvaging the current situation is probably the better choice. But if it’s not salvageable, there are options as difficult or as unpleasant as they might be.
The reality is, to achieve their potential players need in-game playing time. Otherwise, their skills will erode the way the water erodes the rock until there is very little left.
If you’re in that situation, be sure you’re honest with yourself and then choose wisely. It will save you a lot of heartache in the long term.
Lead photo by Nadtochiy Photography on Pexels.com
Before You Go Ballistic Over Errors or Other Mistakes…
When I sat down to start this week’s blog post I found myself staring at a blank screen, wondering what I should write about. Then serendipity struck in the form of my good friend Tim Boivin.
Tim just happened to send me a link to this Facebook post from United Baseball Parents of America showing Phillies teammates consoling Orion Kerkering after his misplay of a comebacker in the 11th inning put the final nail in the Phillies’ exit from Major League Baseball’s postseason. You can read more about that play here.
First of all, as I’ve said many times, one bad play or one bad call is never THE reason for a loss. If the Phillies had scored a few more runs earlier in the game, or prevented the Dodgers from scoring its only other run, that 11th inning misplay never would have happened and the Phillies would have one.
That point aside, though, making an error that ends a game can be devastating for any ballplayer in any game, but even moreso when it’s not just game-ending but season-ending. If you see any of the post-game photos or interviews the heartbreak is obvious.
Not to mention all the fan chatter that’s no doubt going to haunt him for a while – all the keyboard warriors and barstool experts who never made it past 12U rec ball who are going to talk about how “bad” he is and how he should be drawn and quartered for costing “them” the series. But at least he has the consolation of an MLB paycheck, which will help him get through it pretty handily.
Now think about that in terms of your youth, high school, or even college player. If one of the most talented athletes in the world – and if you’re playing MLB you are no matter where you fall on that scale – can have a momentary glitch in a big game, why would you think your young player would be immune from it?
And think about the fact that there was a lot more at stake for the Phillies coaches and other players than there is in your typical weekend tournament. Yet the coaches didn’t scream at Kerkering and the other players came over to console him when he was down.
That’s an object lesson we should all keep in mind. No one sets out to misplay a ground or fly ball, or give up a fat pitch down the middle, or strike out, or throw to the wrong base. That stuff just happens – unfortunately it’s part of the game.
We do have a choice, however, on how we react to it. Any player with any sense of game awareness realizes when she (or he) has made a critical, game-changing mistake and most likely feels bad about it.
Rather than going ballistic, the better reaction is help that player understand that this momentary lapse will not define him/her for life. Despite what it may feel like right now, it’s just one more bump on a road that will be filled with them.
Emotional scars can run deep, and the body keeps the score for a lot longer than most of us realize. By helping players keep these glitches in perspective you can save them a lot of heartache now and in the future – and reduce the chances of a repeat performance should those players find themselves in another high-pressure situation again.
Also remember that at the end of the day it’s just a game. No one was seriously damaged when Kerkering muffed the play, and no one will be seriously hurt when a 12 year old softball player makes a mistake either.
Keep it in perspective and the fastpitch softball experience will be a lot better for everyone.
Fastpitch Players: Adopt the Confidence of a Cat
Anyone who has a cat, or who hangs out at the home of someone who has a cat, knows this scenario: The cat is walking along a precarious path, such as the back of a couch or a very thing shelf. Suddenly, the cat loses its footing and lands on the next surface below.
No matter how ridiculous the cat looked when it was falling, or how awkwardly it landed, it will always have the same reaction: it will get up (if it didn’t land on its feet as they usually do), straighten itself out, and look around the room with an expression that says, “I meant to do that.”
Fastpitch softball players can learn a lot from that reaction. All too often, when a player makes a mistake (such as a pitcher sailing a pitch into the backstop or a hitter swinging at a pitch that, um, went sailing into the backstop), the player will react as though she just accidentally published her most private thoughts on her Instagram account.
Once she’s had that reaction it gets into her head. Sometimes it affects the next few pitches or plays; sometimes it affects the rest of the game, the day, or the weekend.
This doesn’t just happen at the youth levels either. College players can suffer from this debilitating reaction as well.
Once it starts it’s hard to stop. And it can also have a ripple effect, especially if it’s a pitcher who does it. The rest of the team usually takes its cue from the pitcher, so if the pitcher is freaking out you can bet that at some level the rest of the team is freaking out as well.
So what to do about it? You have to train it, like anything else.
Because while cats react with a superior air instinctively; athletes generally do not.
Coaches and parents can help their athletes overcome those tendencies by not overreacting themselves. Remember that no one sails a pitch or bobbles a grounder or drops a popup or swings at a bad pitch on purpose.
It just happens. Staying positive in the moment, or at least not going nuclear, can help players move past a mistake faster so one issue doesn’t turn into multiple issues.
Ultimately, though, it’s up to the players themselves to take on this attitude. While it may come naturally to some, most will probably worry too much about letting down their team, their coaches, their parents, as well as looking bad generally.
They have to learn that errors or other miscues happen to everyone, and have to have the confidence to keep going even when they want to shrink or crawl into a hole.
In my opinion this attitude is particularly important for pitchers, because the rest of the team often takes its emotional cues from the girl in the circle. If she gets frustrated, or upset, or off her game in any way, it’s very likely she’ll take most if not all of the team down with her.
Which means the team behind her will under-perform just when she needs them to be better to pick her up.
Anyone in a captain’s or other leadership role also must take on that cat-like attitude. Remember that the characteristic that makes you a leader is that people will follow you. So you have to decide where you want to lead your followers – into a deeper hole or beyond any problems.
Taking on an “I meant to do that” attitude, even when everyone knows they didn’t, will give everyone else the confidence that everything is fine so they can play without fear of failure. Isn’t that the definition of what leaders do?
For those who don’t have access to a cat themselves, the Internet is filled with cat videos that demonstrate this behavior. Check some out and see how they react to the biggest miscues.
Then have your favorite players adopt that attitude for themselves. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.
Giving Players the Chance to Work Through Adversity
One of the most common phrases you will hear in all of sports is “player development.” Whether it’s a 10U girls fastpitch softball team coached by volunteers or a multi-billion dollar NFL franchise, everyone likes to talk about how important player development is for the short- and long-term success of the team and the organization.
That is, of course, until somebody makes a mistake or a problem arises. Then all that talk about letting players develop goes out the window as the coach unceremoniously removes said player from the game so the team doesn’t face the unthinkable prospect of possibly losing a game because of that one play.
Yeah, I’m getting a little hyperbolic but it’s to make a larger point: how in the world will players develop when the minute something bad happens they are removed from the situation?
We’ve all heard the phrases “iron sharpens iron,” “steel is forged in heat,” and “diamonds are lumps of coal that stood up to pressure.” But none of those great outcomes happen if you remove the object from the situation the second any stress occurs.
That’s why, if you are actually committed to seeing your players develop, you have to leave them in to face their greatest difficulties or fears, even if it means you might lose a few more games here or there rather than pulling them something starts to go wrong. By giving them a chance to work their way out of a difficult situation, even if they ultimately fail today, you will help them become better-prepared for the next time they face similar pressure.
Take a pitcher, for example. Maybe she is fairly new to pitching, or has been sidelined for a while with an injury.
She starts the game and does ok in the first inning, but then she walks a couple of hitters on 8 or 9 total pitches. Time to pull her, right?
Not necessarily. If you’re in an elimination Sunday game maybe.
But if you’re playing a meaningless weekday friendly, or a showcase where no college coaches are there to see someone specifically, or a pool play game (especially where seeding will be decided by a blind draw) a better strategy for the player and the team might be to go out and talk to her, try to reinforce her confidence, then leave her in there to try to work her way out of the situation.
She just might surprise you. And even if she doesn’t, who cares?
Losing that game doesn’t really affect anything but your ego around your team’s record. But giving that pitcher a chance to work her way through difficulty might be just the boost she needs to help her contribute more to the team down the road.
After all, pitchers need innings if they’re going to be effective. Taking them out of the game because you panic at the first sign of trouble (or are more worried about wins than giving your players a chance to develop) will just set them back further on their own journeys – and could even cost you players who become great when someone else shows a little more faith.
The same is true for fielders and hitters. If you pull a fielder after one or even two errors rather than giving her a chance to recover she’s not going to learn very much – except that you have no faith in her.
If you constantly DH for a hitter because you don’t want to give up an out, or put in a pinch hitter any time the situation is remotely tense, it’s unlikely she’s going to develop the confidence it takes to swing the bat effectively.
Then, one day when she comes to the plate in a meaningful game where you have no other options, you’ll have no one to blame for her failure but yourself.
Ok, so does this mean I think you should never pull a pitcher or make another substitution? Of course not.
There are times when it has to be done. If you’re in a “win or go home” situation and your pitcher is starting to struggle, you’re probably going to want to look to the bullpen sooner rather than later.
Although even then, if you truly believe in that pitcher, you might consider leaving her in a little longer with the understanding you may not win this lesser tournament in order to make sure she’s ready for a more important one down the road.
Same with the fielder or hitter. If the fielder looks like she’s not mentally focused, or is herself panicking over the error(s), and there is a risk of elimination (or even dropping needlessly into the loser’s bracket), you may have to take her out.
But if you do, don’t just send her to Purgatory. Talk to her, try to reinforce her confidence, and assure her she’ll get more opportunities. Today is just a tough day.
If you have to DH or pinch hit for a hitter, let her know it’s not the end of the world. This particular situation needed a change, but she will have more opportunities to work herself back into the batting lineup, because the change is situational, not permanent.
Then live up to it.
Bottom line is there are times when hard decisions have to be made and players need to come out. But all too many times, coaches are making those decisions for the wrong reasons.
Instead of making a knee jerk decision at the first sign of trouble, give those players an opportunity to face the tough challenges and work their way out of an issue for a little longer than you might be comfortable. You never know when it will be just the thing to spur the creation of your team’s next superstar.
And help you build a reputation as a genius at handling players.
My good friend Jay Bolden and I have started a new podcast called “From the Coach’s Mouth” where we interview coaches from all areas and levels of fastpitch softball as well as others who may not be fastpitch people but have lots of interesting ideas to contribute.
You can find it here on Spotify, as well as on Apple Podcasts, Pandora, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you’re searching, be sure to put the name in quotes, i.e., “From the Coach’s Mouth” so it goes directly to it.
Give it a listen and let us know what you think. And be sure to hit the Like button and subscribe to Life in the Fastpitch Lane for more content like this.
Top photo by Kindel Media on Pexels.com
Understanding Why Athletes Quit Playing
As another softball season heads into the final stretch run, many softball players are making the tough decision whether to stay with their current team or make a switch. For some, though, the decision is a little different: they are deciding whether to play at all anymore.
There are lots of reasons players stop playing. But in survey after survey, you’ll find one common reason overriding all the rest: it’s just not fun anymore.
When kids are small, they sign up for sports because they look like fun. Sometimes they find it’s not as much fun from the inside (for example, kids who don’t like to run usually don’t stick with soccer or basketball) so they move on to something else.
Once they find something they like, though, they tend to stick with it. At least for a while.
For some, the fun just keeps growing. They like the act of playing, they like the competition, they like the atmosphere.
But for others, it can become overwhelming. And that’s when they start to consider whether playing ball is something they want to continue doing.
This lack of fun can take a number of forms. Some call it burnout.
They’ve been doing the same thing over and over, constantly working on their games to get better. While that can be a driver for some, for others they just grow tired of it and decide they need to move on to something else.
For others it’s outside pressures, especially as they get better and begin to play at higher levels. These higher levels come with higher expectations, from coaches, from parents/guardians, from fans, from recruiters and others.
There is more pressure to win, and losses become more traumatic, especially if they’re playing for coaches with a “win at all costs” mindset.
Some thrive on the pressure, but others find themselves overwhelmed by it. They lose their sense of self and the reasons they started to play, and all they can think about is how bad it will be for them if they fail.
Eventually they succumb to those negative thoughts and just feel like they need to get out from under it so they stop playing before everyone thinks badly of them (in their minds).
In some cases the responsibilities of playing make them feel like they have no time for anything else. Yes, playing at a high level often requires sacrifice, such as missing a trip to the amusement park or a concert or a bestie’s birthday party because they have yet another tournament that weekend.
If there’s nothing they’d rather be doing they don’t mind missing those events. But if they start feeling like softball is starting to keep them from living the rest of their lives, they may decide to play at a lower, less-demanding level or not play at all.
So when does this feeling begin to occur? Typically it’s around the age of 13.
The game starts getting harder and their lives start getting more complicated. Instead of just playing for the love of the sport, they start feeling like they have to perform in a certain way in order to attract the attention of colleges so they can secure a scholarship to their college of choice.
If they don’t, even temporarily they can feel like they’re not enough or like they’ve let the people they love down. Rather than risking it, they decide to eliminate the problem by dropping out of the sport entirely.
So how do we keep that from happening and keep more players in the sport they love?
One is to understand that they’re not perfect. Your favorite player is going to go through tough times.
They’re going to strike out a little too often, or walk a few too many hitters, or make a few too many errors, or have some other issue. Instead of coming down on them about it, recognize that they didn’t fail on purpose.
Then give them the support they need. Encourage them, and help them through the tough times.
Remind them that it’s not the end of the world, and one bad game or even a series of bad games doesn’t have to define them.
Maybe they need a little extra practice time, and if you can help them with it do so. But maybe they need a break, something to take their minds off a bad game or series, so take them out to dinner or to a movie or to their favorite beverage retailer and talk about anything but softball.
In other words, help them clear their heads of the bad juju that’s going on in there and let go of whatever is dragging them down.
If they feel like the level they’re playing at is too much, talk to them and maybe suggest they drop a level to see if they can find their love of the sport again rather than abandon it entirely. Just like learning a new skill, sometimes you have to take a step backwards before you can take a step forward. They may find themselves reinvigorated and may even want to start pursuing it a higher level again once the pressure has been relieved.
You know your child best, so think it through and help her find the fun and the love she once had so she can get it back again.
Now, understand there can be other reasons a player may not want to play anymore. She may still love the game but her life priorities have changed. That’s not what we’re talking about here.
I’m thinking more about the player who has had the love of the game sucked out of her; she probably still wants to play but can’t quite get back into the right headspace.
The fun doesn’t have to be gone forever. Recognize the warning signs and help your player get back on track, and maybe everyone involved can enjoy this great sport a little longer.
Making Sure You’re Prepared for the Storm
June 1 marked the beginning of the hurricane season on the Atlantic coast of the US according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s (NOAA) National Weather Service. So far so good, as there haven’t been any hurricanes yet, but you know they’re coming – even if you don’t know when.
I bring up this fact because of a conversation Jay Bolden and I had a few months back with Shawnee Harle, a mental toughness coach, on our From the Coach’s Mouth podcast. This link goes to that specific episode, although you’re always free to browse all the content we’ve created to date.
In that episode Shawnee made the statement that even when things are going well athletes must always “prepare for the storm, because the storm is always come.” What an awesome way to approach it, don’t you think? That’s why I thought today why not dig into that analogy a little further?
Think about what is (or at least should be) happening right now along the Gulf of Mexico and the entire Eastern seaboard. So far there hasn’t been much hurricane or even tropical storm activity.
Yet NOAA is predicting a 60% chance of an above-normal hurricane season. If that occurs it means tremendous risk to life, health, and property in the affected areas.
The people in those areas should know by now how bad things can get, so if they’re smart right now they are laying in supplies such as bottled water, non-perishable food (including pet food for those who have pets, or just prefer the taste themselves I suppose), cleaning supplies, toilet paper, batteries, flashlights, candles, and other essential goods that could be in short supply should a hurricane hit their area.
They should also be checking to ensure the bungees they use to tie down outdoor furniture are in good working order, that their plywood is ready to cover the windows, and that other precautions are available and accessible. There isn’t a storm right now to deal with, but they know a storms is inevitable and that they should be fully prepared for when it comes.
The same is true for athletes in general and fastpitch softball players in particular. Fastpitch softball is a game built on failure, designed to break your heart.
Or to paraphrase Billy Bob Thornton in the Bad News Bears remake, “(Softball’s) hard, guys. I mean, it really is. You can love it but, believe me, it don’t always love you back. It’s kind of like dating a German chick, you know?”
Even when things are going great, there’s always a monster lurking around the corner, waiting to take you down. You’re on a hot streak hitting and then suddenly, for no reason, you’re striking out, popping up, and grounding out on a regular basis.
You didn’t change anything in your swing or your approach. The game just decided you needed some humbling.
Or you’re a Gold Glove-level shortstop who one day misses a ground ball on a bad hop and the next thing you know you’re fumbling easy chances or throwing the ball into the parking lot instead of to first base. Things that were once routine are no more, and you end up with the “yips” to the point where you’re hoping the ball goes anywhere on the field except to you.
Or you’re a pitcher who suddenly can’t find the strike zone with her best pitches, and instead of dominating the dish you’re worried about walking or hitting batters. And the more you worry and try to fix it, the worse it gets.
When those or similar things happen – and they do to even the best players – that’s not the time to try to figure out what to do about it.
Instead, you want to prepare in advance for the storm, according to Shawnee. When things are going well, and you’re calm and thinking straight, THAT is the time to start preparing your plan for when things go South on you. Because sooner or later they will, and if you’re not ready you’ll see your mental lawn furniture flying by the window and you’ll be wishing you had some drinking water and at least a few granola bars to get you through the next few days.
Of course, most of us don’t do that. It’s like back pain.
We rarely do any of the stretches or exercises we should to prevent back pain. Instead, we don’t think about it until we suddenly can’t move, then desperately start looking for a chiropractor or massage therapist who can give us instant relief from our months or years of neglect.
By preparing ahead of time you will have a game plan available that you can execute when things start to go bad instead of waiting until you feel like you’re drowning.
For example, most mental game coaches will talk about how you need positive self-talk in a playing crisis so you can chase away the negatives. But it’s hard to come up with anything positive to say when you’re 0-for-the tournament and you’ve made three errors.
You’re far more likely to tell yourself that you stink and to worry incessantly that you’re going to be benched – to the point where it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But if you start writing down some positive thoughts when you’re on top of the world and tuck them away for when the storm hits, perhaps you’ll be able to push those negative thoughts out and get back on track faster.
Another idea is to create a highlight reel you can use to remind yourself of how good you really are. These days, game clips are all over the place, from parents, family friends, social media, GameChanger and other sources.
Rather than waiting until the storm is battering your psyche and then trying to find some good ones, capture a few and put them together as they happen. That way your highlight reel is just a click away and you can remember what it feels like to be on top of the game instead of under its heel.
You can put together a series of tension-relievers that will help you manage the moment too. Breathing exercises are good; rituals are good; visualization of success is good; techniques such as picking up a clump of infield dirt, squeezing all your fears, anxieties, and negative thoughts into it and then throwing them away is good.
There are lots of ways to gain control over the storm. If you’re not good at it yourself, seek out the help of someone like Shawnee who not only knows what to do but can be a calm, impartial guide who helps you face whatever demons you have and learn how to get rid of them before they take over you brain.
The key is to understand that no matter how good or great you are, the storm is coming – because it’s always coming. Just ask Simone Biles.
What you need to do is face that fact and, just like the people in the Gulf and on the Eastern Seaboard, make sure you’re prepared for that storm long before it hits.
It won’t keep the storm from hitting you. But it will sure help minimize the damage so you can get back to normal as quickly as you can again.
Hurricane photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
The Power of a Kind Word (or Two)
A couple of nights ago one of my hitting students, we’ll call her Persephone (for no reason other than it amuses me), came in for her first lesson in a few weeks. She is playing high school ball right now and has been tearing it up for the most part, but Persephone has had a little less success lately and decided it was time for a tune-up.
Her dad walked in before her and gave me a heads-up that Persephone had had a rough game that night, going 0-3, and was also having a little family-based teen angst on top of it. Always nice to have some warning in those cases.
When Persephone came in (wish I’d picked a name that is easier to type) I could see her mental state was no minor issue. She was an emotional pot ready to boil over.
She was trying to keep the lid on it, but it was rattling pretty hard. Most of the time she is a pretty even-keel, laid back young woman but even the toughest among us can get overwhelmed at times, and that’s what was happening here.
We started into the lesson and I asked her about the game. She told me she just couldn’t hit the pitcher, and in particular was unable to touch her curveball. Persephone told me she was swinging and missing it by quite a bit.
Her dad had told me in the beginning that it wasn’t just Persephone who had that trouble that night; the opposing pitcher was one walk shy of a perfect game. But Persephone is a team leader who sets high standards for her performance, so it didn’t matter to her that everyone else struggled; she felt she could have and should have hit that girl anyway.
I talked to her some about the mental game, staying focused on the process instead of outcomes, keeping it simple, how to relieve stress at the plate, all of that. It helped somewhat.
When I went to front toss I identified a mechanical flaw too – she was pulling her front side out instead of hitting around it, so it’s no wonder she couldn’t touch those outside curveballs. She made the correction and started hitting a little better, but I could see she was still in her own head too much.
Then the miracle happened.
There was another hitting instructor doing a lesson in the cage next to us. His name is Dave Doerhoefer, and we have known each other for more years than either of us probably cares to admit.
Dave is a friend as well as a great coach, and we often have chats about the current state of the sport, especially when it comes to teams playing too many games and not practicing and teaching enough.
He was working with his student on firming up her front side as she went into rotation instead of letting it collapse but she was having trouble grasping the concept. His line of sight took him directly toward our cage and he saw how hard Persephone was swinging the bat and how sweet her technique was, so he asked Persephone if his student could watch her a few times because she has such a nice swing.
It was literally like the clouds had parted and the sun was doing a happy dance in her heart.
Dave’s question totally pulled Persephone out of her self-inflicted funk and her face just lit up. Then she started lighting up my front toss pitches too – including the outside ones.
That one simple question, which was also in effect a great, unsolicited compliment from someone that had no stake in the process but just liked what she was doing, turned Persephone’s entire approach around.
Later I thanked Dave for his kind words and told him what it had meant to Persephone. He shrugged and thanked me for telling him that, but admitted he had no motivation in it other than wanting his student to see another hitter doing what he wanted her to do in real time.
Now, I will say Dave may come to regret his kindness because in addition to being a hitting instructor he is also a varsity softball coach at Vernon Hills High School, and his team may play Persephone’s somewhere along the way – perhaps the State playoffs. But I’m sure he’s ok with it because Dave’s #1 focus is on helping fastpitch softball players get better, no matter if they are his or his opponents’.
The point here is it didn’t take much to make Persephone’s day and help her go from feeling bad about herself when she came in to walking on air with a big smile on her face when she left. You have the power to do the same.
When you’re at the field and you see someone do something great, whether it’s a driving big hit or making a diving catch or throwing a knee-buckling changeup or making a heads-up slide, don’t just admire it to yourself. Find that girl after the game and tell her – even if she’s on the opposing team. That goes for parents as well as coaches.
You never know what someone else has been going through, and those few kind words may be just the inspiration they need to keep fighting and overcome their struggles. It only takes a few seconds, but the ripple effect from that encounter might just alter the trajectory of a life in a positive way, even if just by a few degrees.
And the best part? Offering up a sincere compliment now and then doesn’t cost you anything but a little thought and time.
I know some of the happiest stories my students tell me are when an opposing coach or parents tells them they did a great job. So this weekend, get out there and if you see something good say something good about it.
You never know who needs to hear it.
My good friend Jay Bolden and I have started a new podcast called “From the Coach’s Mouth” where we interview coaches from all areas and levels of fastpitch softball as well as others who may not be fastpitch people but have lots of interesting ideas to contribute.
You can find it here on Spotify, as well as on Apple Podcasts, Pandora, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you’re searching, be sure to put the name in quotes, i.e., “From the Coach’s Mouth” so it goes directly to it.
Give it a listen and let us know what you think. And be sure to hit the Like button and subscribe to Life in the Fastpitch Lane for more content like this.
Lead photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
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