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Be Sure to Align Your Expectations with Your Work Ethic
Fall is often the time of year when players get a new start. Maybe they joined a new team that plays at a higher level and has a great track record of success.
Maybe they finally started getting private instruction, or made a decision to try a new instructor who has a strong reputation for turning out champions.
Maybe they hired a trainer to help them get bigger, stronger, faster, and/or more agile than they’ve ever been. Maybe it’s some combination of those things, or even something else we haven’t already named.
Whatever it might be, the fact that they took an action to make a change might just be a sign of better days ahead.
Or it may not be. Because there is one other factor that has to be taken into consideration before any of those other changes take effect: whether your personal work ethic is in line with what you’re hoping to get out of those other changes.
Here’s why that’s so critical.
Let’s say we’re talking about changing teams, whether you joined a new travel team or went through the portal and are now with a new college team. On your previous team you were clearly one of the best players.
Part of the reason for that, though, was that your old team didn’t practice that much, and your teammates didn’t practice on their own. You were more athletic than your teammates – and maybe bigger and stronger – so you just naturally were better.
On this team, though, everyone is at your level athletically (or better), and both they and the team practice more. Suddenly this great team you joined because you wanted to play at a higher level is going to require a lot more work.
If you’re not willing to give up that much of your free time, or you want to still do a whole lot of other things (play other sports, be in a theater group, pursue time-intensive hobbies, etc.), you may have to lower your expectations for what your role will be on this team.
Then there’s getting in with that instructor who you’ve heard so many great things about. You walk in with a lot of anticipation, hoping to catch a little of that magic they seem to be dispensing to others.
After the first couple of lessons, however, you start to wonder when the magic part will come out. Because while your expectations for going to this coach were that you would become a superstar by association, the reality is the actual magic happens in-between the lessons when you work on your own.
And if you’re still more dabbling at it than dedicating yourself to making the changes that coach is asking you to make, you’re not going to see much difference. You will not only need to put in the time, but you’re probably going to have to do things differently than you’re used to doing them – no matter how much you liked doing them your way.
Basically, you’re going to have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable for a little while, even if the short-term results aren’t as good as they were before. If you’ve made a good decision about your coach, the results will come in time.
The thing people often don’t tell you is that highest performers in any field are dedicated to doing more. Not just in terms of volume, although that is often a factor. But in terms of precision.
They are constantly looking for ideas and adjustments that can help them get better. Even if it’s just 5% better.
And they don’t just try it once and, if it doesn’t help, go back to what they were doing before. They give it an honest chance, through multiple repetitions, constantly looking for feedback to make sure they’re doing what they’re supposed to be doing.
If it doesn’t, they don’t get disappointed. They simply look at it as learning one more way not to do whatever they’re trying to do so they can stay focused on what does work.
We’ve all heard the saying, “Winners train. Losers complain.” It is so true.
Winners don’t go out expecting to win because they are so great. They expect to win because they know they have put in the effort that will lead them to those wins.
It’s easy to daydream of greatness. We all love to do it.
But if you have ambitions of seeing those daydreams turn into reality, be sure your work ethic is aligned with your expectations. Otherwise, you’re just chasing rainbows.
5 Positives to Not Being Invited Back
Right now the tryout season for next year is winding down in many part of the country – and beyond. That’s hard for an “old school” coach like me to conceive since I know of many teams that are still playing in various “National” tournaments with this year’s players,
But such is the reality of today’s fastpitch softball world.
For many next year will look pretty much like this year, i.e., same players (more or less) and same coaches. But for some, this is a time of heartache and tears because they’ve been informed that, despite having a tournament or two left to play right now, they are not being invited back to the team next year.
It’s difficult in any situation in life to hear you’re not wanted anymore by the people you’ve given your heart and soul to. If you’re a young, competitive athlete it can be particularly difficult.
So for those in that situation right now let me share a little secret: this may not be as bad of a thing as it seems right now.
Yes, it hurts not to be wanted. But this involuntary change of scenery might actually offer you one huge advantage – a clean slate with which to start over with no history or expectations.
Allow me to share a few of the positives this opportunity presents.
Positive #1: You’re not stuck in someone’s impression of you
It’s an unfortunate fact of life that once a coach decides who you are and what you can do that view never changes. Never mind that you worked hard over the offseason to improve your skills or increase your speed or build your strength.
For too many, the impression they got when you first joined the team is the impression you’re stuck with going forward.
On a new team you get a do-over. Even if that coach has the exact same issue – his/her first impression is the one you’re stuck with – you have that rare opportunity in life to create an all-new first impression.
In other words, wherever you are now is how that coach will see you rather than where you were a year ago. If you really put in the work you may find you’re rewarded better on the new team than you would have been on the old one.
Positive #2: Extra motivation
There is something to be said for revenge or an “I’ll show you” attitude to keep a player motivated on improvement throughout the long, boring offseason. There’s a pretty good chance you’re going to see your old team on the field, this time as an opponent.
What better way to get the better of the situation than to perform well, contribute to your new team’s victory, and show the old coaching staff what they missed in letting you go?
Now, I’m not saying you need to be mean or nasty about it. You don’t want to go into negative territory.
But there’s a pretty good chance that more has been accomplished in all fields in life by people who were once told they weren’t good enough to stay where they were than those who were safe and comfortable. If you’re a competitor at all, not being asked back should be all the fuel you need to kick your dedication and training level up or a notch or two.
And even if you never get a chance for that revenge game, the improvements you make in preparing for it will carry over to every other game in which you compete. Which is pretty cool by itself.
Positive #3: New opportunities
Sometimes moving to a new team can create opportunities you might never have gotten with the old team.
Perhaps the coach of the old team has a batting order he/she likes and never changes. Moving to a new team and proving yourself could give you the opportunity to hit higher in the lineup and get more at-bats. Especially if the coach bases his/her decisions on the stats instead of gut feel.
Or maybe you’ve always fancied yourself a shortstop but that position was already taken by one of the best to ever play the game. You’re not going to displace her no matter how good you are or how hard you work, whereas a new team will welcome your skill level at that position.
Having opportunities is particularly important for pitchers. So if you weren’t pitching much on the old team because you didn’t hit your spots or couldn’t match the others for speed, a new team with greater need at that position just might give you the opportunity you need to develop under game conditions – simply because they don’t have much choice.
All you can ask for is the opportunity to do whatever it is you want to do. The rest is up to you. But at least with the new team there could be more of a chance of getting that opportunity.
Positive #4: An overall better fit
Maybe you joined your old team because they had a great reputation for being the best in the area. But then you found out one of the reasons they’re the best is they are better at convincing already-developed players at coming to them than they are at developing players themselves.
Or maybe you enjoy being a multi-sport athlete while the rest of the team (and the coaches) are more about all softball all the time. As a result, you missed some games for your other sport(s) which caused you to have to sit the bench as punishment for choosing that sport over softball, even if the other sport was in-season and softball was not.
Or maybe the culture of the team was win at all costs, even if it means cheating or hurting your opponents on purpose while you’re more oriented toward playing a clean game.
Whatever the issue might be, you know in your heart of hearts that the old team wasn’t a good fit for you as a person, even if it was a good fit as an athlete. In that case, they probably did you a favor.
You can now find a team whose culture and attitude is a better fit for who you are and who you want to be. With a little distance you may even find that they did you a huge favor by not asking you back; sometimes it’s tough to see the negative behaviors when you’re in the middle of them.
Positive #5: Meeting new people and making new connections
It’s easy to get caught in a sort of closed-loop system, especially in today’s fastpitch softball world where you play so many games and have so many practices that your experience of the world outside your current team is limited.
By moving to a new team you may discover things or people you never knew existed. For example, you may find a skills coach (pitching coach, hitting coach, etc.) or a trainer who can elevate your game tremendously because one or more of your teammates goes to him/her.
You would have never known about that person had you stayed where you were. But this type of serendipity could end up leading you to skills and abilities you never knew existed within yourself.
The same goes for the other players. You may discover a friend for life you would have never known about had you stayed where you were.
Or you may find the way the players on this team approach the game is more in keeping with how you think of it, leading you to have a better overall experience. With a net result that you keep playing long after the attitudes on the old team would have driven you out.
Darkest before the dawn
Not being asked back to the team who already knows you can be tough on the ego and the psyche. It can make you feel like something is wrong with you, or cause you to think that you are somehow “less than” those who were asked back.
Don’t let that kind of thinking creep into your head. Just accept that there are many paths forward, and that what seems like a trauma right now could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you.
Keep a positive attitude, find that new team, and remind yourself that a year from now whatever sadness or hurt you’re feeling today will be little more than a bump in a much longer, better road for you as a player.
Now get out there and kick butt!
Heading photo by Karolina Kaboompics on Pexels.com
Nothing Like Starting with a Clean Slate
Fall ball is beginning to ramp up, at least in my area. A couple of teams I know played last week, and a whole bunch more are scheduled to play tournaments and/or round robins this weekend.
(That’s fascinating to an old coach like me, by the way, since for most of my coaching career fall ball meant playing a friendly or two on a couple of Sunday afternoons. Now it’s a regular part of the overall softball season.)
For players who stayed with the team they were on in the previous season it’s probably no big deal. They know the coaches and (most of) their teammates, and the coaches and teammates know them. It’s a pretty comfortable situation.
For those who are on new teams, however, it’s an incredible opportunity. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, players on new teams can create a whole new impression of who they are and what they can do. That new impression will be how the new team sees them.
Take a hitter who had a rough summer. She struck out a lot, and when she did hit it was mostly popups and weak ground balls.
Then toward the middle of the season she took some hitting lessons and started driving the ball. Unfortunately, her coaches already had a picture of her as a hitter in their minds, and didn’t trust that what she was showing was what she had become. So she stayed at the bottom of the batting order.
With the new team, however, all bets are off. They liked something about her at tryouts, which presumably is why they took her. Those are their only preconceived notions about who she is as a player.
All she has to do is what she was doing at the end of the last season – hitting consistently, with plenty of extra base hits – and she’ll be at the top of the batting order on her new team. Because these coaches’ impressions of who she is will be based on today forward instead of her far less productive past.
The same is true for every position. If she was a pitchers who struggled with control early on but got it together later, the starting point today is a pitcher with control. Error-prone fielder? Not anymore.
The only ones on this team who know she struggled in the past are the player and her parents. And hopefully they’re not saying anything!
It isn’t often in life that you get a real, live do-over. But this is one of those situations.
If you’re starting up with a new team, leave the past in the past. Forget about any struggles you may have had before, and play the way you’re capable of playing today.
Now go be awesome!
