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Person First. Student Second. Player Third.
Today’s post was actually written by my partner in podcasting Coach Jay Bolden of Be Bold Fastpitch LLC. As many of you know Jay and i do the From the Coach’s Mouth podcast, where we interview coaches and talk amongst ourselves about all sorts of fastpitch softball and general coaching topics.
You can find it on all your favorite podcast platforms, including Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Ok, commercial over.
A couple of days ago, though, I saw Jay put up a great post on his Be Bold Fastpitch LLC Facebook page, talking about how he approaches working with his students. It was very heartfelt and great advice for all of us to remember so I asked him if I could reprint it here. He, of course, is a great guy so he said yes.
So here’s what he had to say on the topic. He has a lot of great content like this so I highly recommend that if you are on Facebook you give him a follow. And if you’re not, get on Facebook and then follow him. It will be well worth it.
Without further ado, here’s the post:
Let me say this loud and clear…
Person first. Student second. Player third.
Somewhere along the way, youth sports flipped that order — and we’re seeing the damage every single day. Kids tied up in performance anxiety. Kids terrified to make a mistake. Kids who think their value comes from stat sheets, exit velos, strike percentages, and trophy photos.
That’s on us as adults.
If a kid thinks her worth depends on how she plays on Saturday, then we failed long before the first pitch.
Because softball is a chapter in her life — not her entire identity.
Before I care about her curveball, her batting average, or where she hits in the lineup… I care about what kind of person she’s becoming.
Is she kind? Coachable? Honest? Does she show up for others?
That matters more than any tournament ring.
Then comes the student.
Grades, habits, responsibility, learning how to manage real life — those are the things that carry her long after her last at-bat.
Player is last on purpose.
Not because the game doesn’t matter — it does.
But because the game is the platform, not the identity.
We’re not just coaching softball.
We’re developing strong, confident young women who can handle life.
Person first.
Student second.
Player third.
And when we get that right?
The softball takes care of itself.
Train Hard. Play Bold. Chase Greatness.
Making Sure You’re Prepared for the Storm
June 1 marked the beginning of the hurricane season on the Atlantic coast of the US according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s (NOAA) National Weather Service. So far so good, as there haven’t been any hurricanes yet, but you know they’re coming – even if you don’t know when.
I bring up this fact because of a conversation Jay Bolden and I had a few months back with Shawnee Harle, a mental toughness coach, on our From the Coach’s Mouth podcast. This link goes to that specific episode, although you’re always free to browse all the content we’ve created to date.
In that episode Shawnee made the statement that even when things are going well athletes must always “prepare for the storm, because the storm is always come.” What an awesome way to approach it, don’t you think? That’s why I thought today why not dig into that analogy a little further?
Think about what is (or at least should be) happening right now along the Gulf of Mexico and the entire Eastern seaboard. So far there hasn’t been much hurricane or even tropical storm activity.
Yet NOAA is predicting a 60% chance of an above-normal hurricane season. If that occurs it means tremendous risk to life, health, and property in the affected areas.
The people in those areas should know by now how bad things can get, so if they’re smart right now they are laying in supplies such as bottled water, non-perishable food (including pet food for those who have pets, or just prefer the taste themselves I suppose), cleaning supplies, toilet paper, batteries, flashlights, candles, and other essential goods that could be in short supply should a hurricane hit their area.
They should also be checking to ensure the bungees they use to tie down outdoor furniture are in good working order, that their plywood is ready to cover the windows, and that other precautions are available and accessible. There isn’t a storm right now to deal with, but they know a storms is inevitable and that they should be fully prepared for when it comes.
The same is true for athletes in general and fastpitch softball players in particular. Fastpitch softball is a game built on failure, designed to break your heart.
Or to paraphrase Billy Bob Thornton in the Bad News Bears remake, “(Softball’s) hard, guys. I mean, it really is. You can love it but, believe me, it don’t always love you back. It’s kind of like dating a German chick, you know?”
Even when things are going great, there’s always a monster lurking around the corner, waiting to take you down. You’re on a hot streak hitting and then suddenly, for no reason, you’re striking out, popping up, and grounding out on a regular basis.
You didn’t change anything in your swing or your approach. The game just decided you needed some humbling.
Or you’re a Gold Glove-level shortstop who one day misses a ground ball on a bad hop and the next thing you know you’re fumbling easy chances or throwing the ball into the parking lot instead of to first base. Things that were once routine are no more, and you end up with the “yips” to the point where you’re hoping the ball goes anywhere on the field except to you.
Or you’re a pitcher who suddenly can’t find the strike zone with her best pitches, and instead of dominating the dish you’re worried about walking or hitting batters. And the more you worry and try to fix it, the worse it gets.
When those or similar things happen – and they do to even the best players – that’s not the time to try to figure out what to do about it.
Instead, you want to prepare in advance for the storm, according to Shawnee. When things are going well, and you’re calm and thinking straight, THAT is the time to start preparing your plan for when things go South on you. Because sooner or later they will, and if you’re not ready you’ll see your mental lawn furniture flying by the window and you’ll be wishing you had some drinking water and at least a few granola bars to get you through the next few days.
Of course, most of us don’t do that. It’s like back pain.
We rarely do any of the stretches or exercises we should to prevent back pain. Instead, we don’t think about it until we suddenly can’t move, then desperately start looking for a chiropractor or massage therapist who can give us instant relief from our months or years of neglect.
By preparing ahead of time you will have a game plan available that you can execute when things start to go bad instead of waiting until you feel like you’re drowning.
For example, most mental game coaches will talk about how you need positive self-talk in a playing crisis so you can chase away the negatives. But it’s hard to come up with anything positive to say when you’re 0-for-the tournament and you’ve made three errors.
You’re far more likely to tell yourself that you stink and to worry incessantly that you’re going to be benched – to the point where it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But if you start writing down some positive thoughts when you’re on top of the world and tuck them away for when the storm hits, perhaps you’ll be able to push those negative thoughts out and get back on track faster.
Another idea is to create a highlight reel you can use to remind yourself of how good you really are. These days, game clips are all over the place, from parents, family friends, social media, GameChanger and other sources.
Rather than waiting until the storm is battering your psyche and then trying to find some good ones, capture a few and put them together as they happen. That way your highlight reel is just a click away and you can remember what it feels like to be on top of the game instead of under its heel.
You can put together a series of tension-relievers that will help you manage the moment too. Breathing exercises are good; rituals are good; visualization of success is good; techniques such as picking up a clump of infield dirt, squeezing all your fears, anxieties, and negative thoughts into it and then throwing them away is good.
There are lots of ways to gain control over the storm. If you’re not good at it yourself, seek out the help of someone like Shawnee who not only knows what to do but can be a calm, impartial guide who helps you face whatever demons you have and learn how to get rid of them before they take over you brain.
The key is to understand that no matter how good or great you are, the storm is coming – because it’s always coming. Just ask Simone Biles.
What you need to do is face that fact and, just like the people in the Gulf and on the Eastern Seaboard, make sure you’re prepared for that storm long before it hits.
It won’t keep the storm from hitting you. But it will sure help minimize the damage so you can get back to normal as quickly as you can again.
Hurricane photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
Easing Young Arms Into the Season
On our From the Coach’s Mouth podcast yesterday, Jay Bolden (St. Xavier University, BeBold Fastpitch) and I discussed several topics related to the start of the high school and outdoor travel season. During that conversation Jay brought up a topic that I believe is critical to both the health of the athletes and the success of the team over the long haul: the importance of easing young arms into the season.
I get how challenging that can be, especially for high school (or college, for that matter) coaches. You get a couple of weeks with your athletes and then you have to start playing games.
In that couple of weeks, you have a mountain of things you feel you need to go over or get done to be prepared for the start off the season, and many of them involve overhand throwing. In the heat of those preparations it’s easy to lose track of just how much stress is being placed on those arms and shoulders – stress they are not ready for even with the best of arm care programs.
Let’s start with your athletes who are softball-only. During the offseason they have probably been practicing 1-3 times per week, which is very different than the six times per week a high school or college team will practice/play. Or a travel team will play in the summer.
Within that time they may or may not have done some arm care exercises as part of their warm-up and cool-down, but kids being kids they probably didn’t approach it with the same level of intensity they would in-season. Even if they did, though, there’s only so much an arm care program can do.
For example, one of my students is very diligent about her arm care program. But one weekend in the fall she went to a college camp where they spent three hours doing non-stop overhand throwing.
She came back with a sore shoulder that ended up requiring her to take some time off from overhand throwing and pitching while she did physical training to relieve the pain and repair the damage. Fortunately she was able to recover but it definitely set her back some.
Now imagine all the players who didn’t do that much arm care, or didn’t put in the effort to do it right when they did it. They’re not prepared to suddenly start throwing intensely in speed drills or distance drills day after day after day.
It won’t take long before they’re in some level of pain. Keep it up and by halfway through the season you may have a few athletes on the IR list and others who are gritting their teeth just trying to make it through the end of the season. Not exactly the formula for a long run to state.
Another complicating factor for many teams is the transition from indoor to outdoor practice. If you live in California, or Arizona, or Florida, or another area with warm temperatures during the winter it may not be a big deal.
But for those going from throwing in a cage or a small practice are to a full-size field it can be a huge risk factor. A little over-enthusiasm on the part of the coach can have even the best cared-for arms dragging in short order.
Then there are the athletes who come to softball after playing another overhead sport such as basketball or volleyball. Whether it was a school team or a club team, those other sports with their intense schedules have probably put a lot of stress on the shoulder joints.
There is a high risk for labrum tears, bicep tendonitis, and other issues even before you start lengthy practices involving throwing. You could easily lose a couple of your best overall athletes before the season starts even if the softball-only players are doing ok.
So what can you do to avoid these issues while still getting your team ready to play? Jay had a great suggestion that he uses with his teams.
For starters, during fielding practice have buckets available near the fielders on some days, especially early in the pre-season. When you hit fly balls or ground balls, instead of having your players throw the ball back to the fungo hitter have them toss the ball in a bucket.
When the fielder’s bucket is full, have one of them run it back in to the hitter and take the empty bucket out. That way you get the fielding work done while reducing the strain on the arms and shoulders.
You can also spend time working on short tosses, the type you would do when one player is close to another and doesn’t need to make a full through. This part of the game is probably under-practiced by most teams, so it has the added benefit of shoring up a potential problem area while saving wear-and-tear.
It can also be fun if you work on a variety of throws. Jay mentioned hearing a coach at a clinic suggesting you can also work on crazy situations such as the glove scoop and toss or throwing behind your back.
Not all the time, obviously, but every now and then just to spice up practice a little. Think Savannah Bananas.
Dailies are another great way to get fielding practice in for infielders without stressing arms. You can get a lot of reps for straight-in, forehand, and backhand fielding in in a short amount of time – and with no stress to arms or shoulders. Although it can be a little tough on the knees.
Along the way, do your best to address throwing mechanics as well. If you’re not sure how to teach good mechanics ask a more experienced coach or check out programs such as Austin Wasserman’s High Level Throwing program to learn how to set up an organized, structed throwing program designed to ensure your athletes’ long-term arm health.
Finally, as with any other type of strenuous exercise program, be smart about what you’re doing. Start with low intensity activities and lower reps, then build your way up to more reps and longer throws.
A commonly quoted statistic is that 80% of all errors in baseball and softball are throwing errors. I couldn’t find a source to absolutely confirm it, but based on my experience it certainly sounds correct.
While some of those errors are no doubt just flat-out mistakes, I’d bet if you looked under the surface a fair percentage could be attributed to arms that are sore or just plain tired. Help your players go into the long season with healthy (or at least healthier) arms and you’ll be far more likely to make a deeper run into the postseason.
Character Matters for Coaches Too
We often hear about how fastpitch softball players need to be good teammates and people of good character. Coaches will talk about what they look for during tryouts and recruiting beyond skills, and how they need to be able to hold their players to high standards.
But what about the coaches themselves? Shouldn’t being a person of good character matter for them as well?
What brings up this topic is an article my friend Jay Bolden of BeBold Fastpitch, who is a tremendous pitching coach by the way, passed along the other day. It’s one of several great things Jay has shared lately, so if you’re not following him on Facebook you really should.
The article was about a head coach at a D1 college who was recently arrested for shoplifting and possession of a controlled substance without a prescription. What’s really sad is the shoplifting amounted to less than $70, and she only had a couple of the pills in her possession.
Not the amount matters that much for our purposes – right is right and wrong is wrong no matter the scope – but if you’re going to get caught committing an alleged crime that could cost you your job you would think it would be for an amount that would have people say, “I get it.”
Regardless, though, the real issue here is one of character and leadership.
There is more to coaching than than teaching skills, making up lineups, and running plays. Especially when we are talking about youth and amateur sports, which includes college.
The measure of a great coach isn’t just wins and losses, although that aspect is definitely important, particularly in the college ranks. It’s also whether the coach is making a positive impact on those players, helping them become better people who are prepared to live their best lives.
That’s hard to do when you yourself are not exhibiting good character. There’s an old proverb that says a fish rots from the head down.
I have definitely seen that to be true, not just in softball or sports but in the business world as well. Poor leadership and questionable ethics will lead others in the organization to follow their own worst instincts, or at least make decisions that may not be in anyone’s best interests.
Another example of poor leadership is shifting blame to players for poor performance to cover the fact that the coach really doesn’t know what he or she is doing.
I recently heard about a coach complaining that her team wasn’t hitting the ball well enough and wasn’t scoring enough runs. Rather than try to help them solve the root issue(s), however, the coach merely said, “You guys need to hit better. Figure it out.”
How is that helpful? It’s not. It’s just a coach worried that her players’ lack of performance will make HER look bad.
That’s a sign of poor character. Even if the coach doesn’t know what to do technically, she should either bring in someone who does or at least try to bolster her players’ confidence at the plate so they’re not making things worse by tightening up and making poor swing decisions in the hopes that something good will happen (it usually doesn’t).
I think most teams have a code of conduct of some sort that they expect their players to abide by. Coaches should be held to at least that standard, if not a higher one.
Some simple things coaches can do to demonstrate strong character:
- Not smoking, drinking alcohol, or using other substances in the dugout or parking lot, or really anywhere their players are in uniform
- Not playing favorites with certain players; everyone earns their playing time based on merit, even if the coach doesn’t especially like certain players
- Not talking about some players to other players on the team, or to their parents, whether in-person, through direct communication, or on social media
- Not establishing “overly personal” relationships with anyone on the team;
- Enforcing team rules fairly and equally, don’t treat the rules as rules for non-starters and merely suggestions for starters
I remember hearing a great example of this last point being demonstrated several years ago by Mike Candrea, the former head coach at Arizona.
One of his star players broke a team rule a few days before the team was scheduled to play I believe in Regionals. She was seen as critical to the team’s success, and obviously the game they were about to play wasn’t a throw-away game.
Coach Candrea told the player she would not be joining the team on the trip, which may have come as a shock to the player and probably a whole lot of other people. When asked about it he said the rules are the rules, and they apply to everyone.
That had to be hard, especially because if I recall correctly Arizona did end up losing. But Coach Candrea demonstrated to every player on that team that fairness and integrity are (or at least should be) higher priorities than winning, even if the game is “important.”
It takes a lot of character to make that decision. When asked later if he had any regrets about it Coach Candrea emphatically answered, “No.”
That decision set a standard to which we should all aspire. What a tremendous life lesson for his players, and really everyone who has heard that story.
We are all products of our decisions, good and bad. But when you’re a coach you’re not the only one affected by them.
Hopefully whatever drove the coach in the opening story to do what she allegedly did can be overcome with some help and she can make better decisions in the future. But it does create a learning opportunity.
Just as we demand excellence from our players, so must we coaches also set higher expectations for ourselves as well. While it might be tempting to take a shortcut, or cheat a little here or there, or fudge the facts, or pass the blame onto others it’s important to take responsibility and demonstrate the qualities we want our players to exhibit on and off the playing field.
Character matters.
Photo by Anastasiya Gepp on Pexels.com
Life in the Fastpitch Lane 