We often talk about how softball is a game of failure and disappointment. Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control – not making a preferred team, giving up a home run or striking out in a key situation, losing a game that knocks you out of the playoff, having a bad game when a college coach comes out to see you, and so forth.

At the time it seems devastating – like your (or your daughter’s) whole future just came crashing down around you. That’s when it’s good to remember the story of the Zen master and the little boy, which I fully admit I am stealing from the movie Charlie Wilson’s War because that’s how big of a nerd I am.

Anyway, the story goes like this:

There’s a little boy and on his 14th birthday he gets a horse… and everybody in the village says, “how wonderful. The boy got a horse” And the Zen master says, “we’ll see.” Two years later, the boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg, and everyone in the village says, “How terrible.” And the Zen master says, “We’ll see.” Then, a war breaks out and all the young men have to go off and fight… except the boy can’t cause his legs all messed up. and everybody in the village says, “How wonderful.” To which the Zen master says, “we’ll see.” And so it goes.

The point is, sometimes in softball, as in life, things seem really important in the moment, and if the moment goes wrong it’s easy to think it’s the end of the world. Yet anyone who has been around for a while like I have (quite a while in my case) can tell you, the universe tends to unfold as it should. (I got that one from Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle since I’m on a movie kick, but it’s been around since well before that.)

Us old folks can also tell you that sometimes not having things work out the way you were hoping in the moment turns out to be the best thing that could have happened to you. Let’s take making that team that was so important to you for example.

We can actually look at it two ways. Did you ever hope to make a team, actually have it happen, then find out once you’re there the coaching or the players were actually pretty toxic?

If not, consider yourself lucky. For those who experienced it, it can be pretty devastating – much worse than the temporary pain of not making the team. If it’s really intolerable you may find you need to move to another team which doesn’t have the prestige or the connections of the current team.

Yet as the Zen master said, we’ll see. Having to move to a lesser team may put you in position to gain more opportunities than you would have otherwise, helping you improve your game, and ultimately being ready when a college coach happens to catch your game. None of that would have happened had everything worked out on the first team.

On the other hand, by not making that first team you will be forced to find another, where you may meet a coach who changes your life. That wouldn’t have happened if you had gotten what you wanted in the moment.

Not making the team? How terrible. We’ll see.

What about striking out or giving up a home run in a big game? Certainly that can’t be good, can it?

Not in the moment. But what if there was a college coach there trying to decide between you and another player who has slightly better stats before offering a scholarship?

The coach saw the other player throw a helmet and sulk after striking out, or lose her cool and sulk after getting pulled from a game following having a home run hit off of her.

But when you did one of those things, you picked yourself up and were on the fence cheering for your teammates (or in the case of the pitcher your replacement). The college coach learned something about you that tipped the scales in your favor after a seemingly bad thing happened.

If you had instead gotten the hit or the out your offer might have gone to the other player based on the numbers. But because you had the opportunity to display character and took advantage of it the offer came your way instead.

(Incidentally, don’t think that wouldn’t happen in real life. On the From the Coach’s Mouth podcast Jay Bolden and I have talked to college coaches who made offers in exactly those circumstances.)

It’s kind of like the timeline in time travel movies (there I go again). One little event happens, whether positive and negative, and it sends the timeline in a slightly different direction.

And that slight difference sets you on a path that ultimately ends up being better for you in the long run.

One more non-softball example. Most people experience a bad breakup with someone they love at one time or another. At the time, it can feel like the end of the world; how will you ever live without that person in your life?

Eventually, though, you meet someone who is just flat-out better for you. They want the same things, they share the same values, they just feel “right.”

You may never have met the love of your life had you still been with the person who broke your heart. Again, while sad and painful in the moment, losing that other person set you on a path toward greater happiness than you ever thought you’d have.

So whatever disappointments or heartaches or frustrations you may be facing right now, remember the words of my great friend Tim Boivin. Whenever we faced a tough situation at work, he would always remind us that this too shall pass.

And so it is with softball. It’s very possible that the event or circumstance that is causing you so much heartache today could be the catalyst toward a future that is everything you hoped it would be.

Just be sure to remember the wise words of the Zen master as you’re celebrating your good fortune: We’ll see.

BONUS: For two lesser-known but really good movies which explore these themes, check out Mr. Destiny starring Jim Belushi (believe it or not) and Linda Hamilton, which explores how his life would have changed had he not struck out in the game for the state title, and The Adjustment Bureau starring Matt Damon and Emily Blunt, which takes a much more serious look at “angels” trying to keep a predetermined timeline on track against the free wills of the protagonists.

Main photo by Bryce Carithers on Pexels.com