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Understanding Why Athletes Quit Playing
As another softball season heads into the final stretch run, many softball players are making the tough decision whether to stay with their current team or make a switch. For some, though, the decision is a little different: they are deciding whether to play at all anymore.
There are lots of reasons players stop playing. But in survey after survey, you’ll find one common reason overriding all the rest: it’s just not fun anymore.
When kids are small, they sign up for sports because they look like fun. Sometimes they find it’s not as much fun from the inside (for example, kids who don’t like to run usually don’t stick with soccer or basketball) so they move on to something else.
Once they find something they like, though, they tend to stick with it. At least for a while.
For some, the fun just keeps growing. They like the act of playing, they like the competition, they like the atmosphere.
But for others, it can become overwhelming. And that’s when they start to consider whether playing ball is something they want to continue doing.
This lack of fun can take a number of forms. Some call it burnout.
They’ve been doing the same thing over and over, constantly working on their games to get better. While that can be a driver for some, for others they just grow tired of it and decide they need to move on to something else.
For others it’s outside pressures, especially as they get better and begin to play at higher levels. These higher levels come with higher expectations, from coaches, from parents/guardians, from fans, from recruiters and others.
There is more pressure to win, and losses become more traumatic, especially if they’re playing for coaches with a “win at all costs” mindset.
Some thrive on the pressure, but others find themselves overwhelmed by it. They lose their sense of self and the reasons they started to play, and all they can think about is how bad it will be for them if they fail.
Eventually they succumb to those negative thoughts and just feel like they need to get out from under it so they stop playing before everyone thinks badly of them (in their minds).
In some cases the responsibilities of playing make them feel like they have no time for anything else. Yes, playing at a high level often requires sacrifice, such as missing a trip to the amusement park or a concert or a bestie’s birthday party because they have yet another tournament that weekend.
If there’s nothing they’d rather be doing they don’t mind missing those events. But if they start feeling like softball is starting to keep them from living the rest of their lives, they may decide to play at a lower, less-demanding level or not play at all.
So when does this feeling begin to occur? Typically it’s around the age of 13.
The game starts getting harder and their lives start getting more complicated. Instead of just playing for the love of the sport, they start feeling like they have to perform in a certain way in order to attract the attention of colleges so they can secure a scholarship to their college of choice.
If they don’t, even temporarily they can feel like they’re not enough or like they’ve let the people they love down. Rather than risking it, they decide to eliminate the problem by dropping out of the sport entirely.
So how do we keep that from happening and keep more players in the sport they love?
One is to understand that they’re not perfect. Your favorite player is going to go through tough times.
They’re going to strike out a little too often, or walk a few too many hitters, or make a few too many errors, or have some other issue. Instead of coming down on them about it, recognize that they didn’t fail on purpose.
Then give them the support they need. Encourage them, and help them through the tough times.
Remind them that it’s not the end of the world, and one bad game or even a series of bad games doesn’t have to define them.
Maybe they need a little extra practice time, and if you can help them with it do so. But maybe they need a break, something to take their minds off a bad game or series, so take them out to dinner or to a movie or to their favorite beverage retailer and talk about anything but softball.
In other words, help them clear their heads of the bad juju that’s going on in there and let go of whatever is dragging them down.
If they feel like the level they’re playing at is too much, talk to them and maybe suggest they drop a level to see if they can find their love of the sport again rather than abandon it entirely. Just like learning a new skill, sometimes you have to take a step backwards before you can take a step forward. They may find themselves reinvigorated and may even want to start pursuing it a higher level again once the pressure has been relieved.
You know your child best, so think it through and help her find the fun and the love she once had so she can get it back again.
Now, understand there can be other reasons a player may not want to play anymore. She may still love the game but her life priorities have changed. That’s not what we’re talking about here.
I’m thinking more about the player who has had the love of the game sucked out of her; she probably still wants to play but can’t quite get back into the right headspace.
The fun doesn’t have to be gone forever. Recognize the warning signs and help your player get back on track, and maybe everyone involved can enjoy this great sport a little longer.
7 Lessons from the 2025 WCWS
Like many coaches I’m sure, over the last couple of weeks I’ve been telling my students that they should watch the Women’s College World Series games. See what they do and how they do it, because in most cases
it’s a master class in how to play the game.
Students aren’t the only ones who can learn from it, however. There were a lot of lessons in there for coaches at all levels as well.
In some cases it was the strategies those coaches followed, whether it was using the element of surprise (such as a flat-out steal of home) or how they used their lineups. In others it was how they dealt with their players through all the ups and downs of a high-stakes series, or even their body language (or practiced lack of it) when things went wrong.
So with the WCWS now concluded and a champion crowned, I thought it would be a good opportunity to recap and share some of those lessons (in no particular order). Feel free to add any you think I may have missed in the comments.
WARNING: There be spoilers here. If you have games stacked up to watch and are trying to avoid learning the outcomes of those games stop reading now, go fire up your DVR, then come back afterwards.
Individual Greatness Doesn’t Guarantee Success
Ok, quick, think about who were the biggest names going into this year’s WCWS. Odds are most of you thought of three pitchers in particular: Jordy Bahl, Karlyn Pickens, and NiJaree Canady.
They have been the big stories all season, and for good reason. All are spectacular players who make a huge difference for their teams.
Yet only one of those names – NiJaree Canady – was in the final series, and her team did not win the big prize. This is not a knock any of these women, because they are all outstanding.
It is merely an observation that for all their greatness, it wasn’t enough in this particular series. To me, the lesson here is not to get intimidated by facing a superstar and fall into the trap of thinking your team simply can’t match up.
Teagan Kavan, the Ace for Texas had almost double the ERA and WHIP versus NiJaree Canady, almost double the ERA of Karlyn Pickens (although their WHIPs were close), and a somewhat higher ERA and WHIP than Jordy Bahl. Yet in the end Kavan was the one holding the champion’s trophy.
Get out there and play your game as a team and you can overcome multiple hurdles as well.
Riding One Pitcher Doesn’t Work As Well As It Used To
Back in the days of Jennie Finch, Cat Osterman, Monica Abbott, Lisa Fernandez, etc., teams used to be able to ride the arm of one pitcher all the way to the championship. That is no longer the case.
One reason for that is the change in format, especially for the championship. It used to be you only had to win one final head-to-head matchup to take home the prize. Now, it’s best two out of three, which extends how much a pitcher in particular has to work, especially if you’re the team coming back through the loser’s bracket.
It’s not that today’s athletes are any less than those of the past either. I’d argue they’re probably better trained and better conditioned that even 10 years ago.
But the caliber of play has continued to increase, and every one of the players is now better trained and better conditioned than they used to be, with science and data leading the way. That elevation in performance makes it that much tougher to play at an athlete’s highest level throughout the long, grueling road to the final matchup.
The stress and fatigue of playing on the edge takes it toll, especially on the pitchers who are throwing 100+ pitches per game. And while the effort of pitching in fastpitch softball may not create the same stresses on the body as overhand pitching, repetitive, violent movements executed over and over in a compressed time period are going to take their toll.
Smart teams will be sure to develop a pitching staff and use that staff strategically to preserve their stars for as long as they can. Yes, when you get to the end you’re going to tend to lean on your Ace more.
But the more you can save her for when you need her at the end, the better off you will be.
(NOTE: This is not a critique of either coach in the championship series. This is more advice for youth and high school coaches who over-use their Aces to build their won-loss record instead of thinking ahead to what they will need for the end of the season.)
In a 3-Game Series, Winning Game 1 Is Critical
Winning that first game gives you some luxuries that can help you take the final game.
When you win game one, you have the ability to start someone other than your Ace because worst-case if you lose you still have one more game to try to win it all. You can bring your Ace back fresher, and you won’t have given opposing hitters as many looks at your Ace as they would have had otherwise.
If you lose game one, it’s do-or-die. You need to do what you need to do to keep the series going so you will pretty much be forced to use your Ace. She gets more tired, and opposing hitters get more looks at her in a short period of timing, helping them time her up or learn to see her pitches better.
That makes it rougher to win game three for sure.
Even the Best Players Make Errors Under Pressure
So there’s Texas, sitting on a 10-run lead in the top of the 5th inning with three outs, then two outs, then one out, then one strike to go. One more out and the run rule takes effect, making them the 2025 WCWS champions. I’m sure their pitcher, Teagan Kavan, was looking forward to it all being done since she’d throw her fair share of pitches in the WCWS too.
But then disaster struck. Texas Tech put the ball in play and a throwing error by Texas put what should have been the third out on base. Another throwing error and a couple of hits later the score is now 10-3 and Texas Tech feels revived.
I’m sure the original error was a play they’ve practiced a million times. But in that situation the throw pulled the first baseman off the bag and kept Texas Tech in the ballgame.
That’s something to remember with your own teams. Even the best players make mistakes and/or succumb to pressure. The key is to not hit the panic button (or the scream at players button) and instead keep your cool so the players calm down and get back to business.
Also notice Texas coach Mike White didn’t pull his shortstop in the middle of the inning because she made an error. Instead, he put his faith in her and she made plays later that preserved the win.
It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over
Same situation but from the Texas Tech side. It would have been easy for them to say 10-0 was an insurmountable lead and begin to let up a little.
Instead, they battled to the final out, and played like they always believed they could still win it. While it would have been tough, if a few more things went their way who knows?
Every player on that side did their jobs to the best of their ability, always believing they could still take the lead. And for a while there it looked like they might.
Now, one thing they had was the luxury of time. With no time limits and no run limits, they had the potential to score enough runs to get back in the game.
It didn’t happen, but it could have. As long as you’re not restricted by time there’s always that chance you can come back. Keep doing your best and you never know what might happen.
Pay Attention to the Little Opportunities
You have to admit the steal of home by Texas Tech was both fun and a gutsy call. I don’t have any inside information on it, but I’m guessing Coach Gerry Glasco knew it was an opportunity long before he called for it. He just had to wait for the right situation.
In watching the replays, it looked to me like the catcher wasn’t paying attention when she threw the ball back, because who would be crazy enough to try to steal home like that? The Texas Tech runner, though, was on a flat-out sprint from the moment the pitch was released and she ended up scoring pretty much unchallenged.
The lesson her isn’t just to keep awareness of what’s happening when you’re on defense, although that’s important. It’s also to think ahead and see what’s happening on the field when you’re up to bat, to see if there are opportunities to advance baserunners or score without putting the ball in play.
It was a gutsy call for sure. But I doubt it was done without a lot of forethought.
Practice the Little Things Too
On the other side of the coin was the hit off the intentional walk in the first game of the championship series. After throwing the first three balls, NiJaree Canady apparently lost a bit of control on the last pitch and Texas took advantage of it, swinging on a pitch that was too close to the plate while the defense was relaxed knowing it was an intentional walk.
Again, I don’t have any inside information but I’ll bet Texas Tech didn’t spend much time practicing intentional walks. Why would they when they had the two-time NFCA Pitcher of the Year throwing for them? Why would she need to walk anyone intentionally?
So when the situation came up, perhaps she wasn’t quite as ready as she should have been. I know you may be thinking “how hard is it to throw a pitch to a spot off the plate for someone who has pinpoint control everywhere else?”
It’s actually harder than you think, and a skill that has to be practiced like any other. Your pitchers are used to throwing strikes. Throwing a ball on purpose may seem as foreign to them as throwing with the opposite hand.
If you think you might throw an intentional walk, or do anything else out of the ordinary for that matter, be sure you practice it first. The less you leave to chance the better chance you have of it working.
Murphy’s Law In Action
Cindy Bristow once told a clinic full of coaches “My girls make the same mistakes your girls do. They just make them faster.” Over the years I have found that to be true.
If things can go wrong they will go wrong. Nothing you can do will change that.
But you can be as prepared as possible, and remember that no one ever sets out to perform poorly. Those things just happen.
Even the best players and coaches make mistakes or have good intentions blow up in their faces. Hopefully we can all learn from them and use that knowledge to help us get better for the next time.
The three-pitch challenge
One of the continuing challenges of learning the game of fastpitch softball is transferring skills from practice to a game. That’s because they’re often two different experiences.
In practice, you get multiple repetitions to execute the same skills. If you miss one, no worries – you have the opportunity to try it again. That makes for a (generally) more relaxed atmosphere.
In games it’s a different story. You fail, and you often pay the consequences for it. That adds a lot of pressure, which makes it even more difficult to execute the skill correctly.
So how do you add game-like pressure to practice? I’ve written about that before here and here and I’m sure in other areas too. You just have to be creative. Here’s another way.
I call it the three-pitch challenge, and it’s a great way to end a good session. Here are the basics: You tell the pitcher you’re going to call three pitches. If she executes all three in a row properly – i.e., right location, right break on a breaking pitch, right speed for a change, etc. – she’s done for the day. But she can’t stop until she gets three in a row. Throw two good ones and blow the third and you start back at zero.
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But it can get in a pitcher’s head pretty quickly.
One of the pitchers I like to do this with is a very talented girl named Katie. I like doing it because she hates it, by the way, so I know it’s accomplishing what I want it to do. I will say she has gotten better at it over time, which has also translated into her on-field pitching. She is so driven and such a perfectionist that she’d get herself all wound up if a couple of pitches didn’t go right. Now she’s learned to re-channel that energy into making the next pitch better rather than worrying about what the last pitch didn’t do.
When I do this with pitchers I often try to get them an early win. I’ll pick a pitch that I’m pretty confident they’re going to throw properly. I might even go with two high-confidence pitches for the first two. Then I’ll select one that was either a struggle or perhaps was the focus for the day.
For example, let’s say she’s been spotting her fastball for a strike, but wanted to work on her drop ball because it wasn’t working the last game. I’ll go with fastball low and out for pitch one (must be a strike to count). Then perhaps a change for the second pitch, assuming it’s been working pretty well. Then I’ll ask for the drop on the third pitch. That’s going to tell us whether the gains she made that day are going to hold up under pressure.
As a variation you can let the pitcher choose which pitches she’s going to throw. The only caveat is she can’t throw the same pitch twice in a sequence of three. That may seem like it’s easier for the pitcher, but it actually adds more pressure. Since she made the decision of what to throw, the sole responsibility is on her. You’d be surprised what that can do to confidence. Or maybe not if you’ve experienced it.
No matter who is calling the pitches, you have to watch for the point of no return – that point where the pitcher is too deep in her own head. At that point I’ll change the pitch calls to presumably make it easier to get out of this particular session without giving up totally, and be a little liberal on what I’ll accept for the pitch – such as a drop that drops a little, or a fastball that’s a borderline strike.
Three pitches doesn’t sound like much, but when there’s something at stake (like being done with a lesson) it can have a significant impact. Next time you’re looking for an exclamation point on a pitching session, give the three-pitch challenge a try.
Life in the Fastpitch Lane 