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Character Matters for Coaches Too
We often hear about how fastpitch softball players need to be good teammates and people of good character. Coaches will talk about what they look for during tryouts and recruiting beyond skills, and how they need to be able to hold their players to high standards.
But what about the coaches themselves? Shouldn’t being a person of good character matter for them as well?
What brings up this topic is an article my friend Jay Bolden of BeBold Fastpitch, who is a tremendous pitching coach by the way, passed along the other day. It’s one of several great things Jay has shared lately, so if you’re not following him on Facebook you really should.
The article was about a head coach at a D1 college who was recently arrested for shoplifting and possession of a controlled substance without a prescription. What’s really sad is the shoplifting amounted to less than $70, and she only had a couple of the pills in her possession.
Not the amount matters that much for our purposes – right is right and wrong is wrong no matter the scope – but if you’re going to get caught committing an alleged crime that could cost you your job you would think it would be for an amount that would have people say, “I get it.”
Regardless, though, the real issue here is one of character and leadership.
There is more to coaching than than teaching skills, making up lineups, and running plays. Especially when we are talking about youth and amateur sports, which includes college.
The measure of a great coach isn’t just wins and losses, although that aspect is definitely important, particularly in the college ranks. It’s also whether the coach is making a positive impact on those players, helping them become better people who are prepared to live their best lives.
That’s hard to do when you yourself are not exhibiting good character. There’s an old proverb that says a fish rots from the head down.
I have definitely seen that to be true, not just in softball or sports but in the business world as well. Poor leadership and questionable ethics will lead others in the organization to follow their own worst instincts, or at least make decisions that may not be in anyone’s best interests.
Another example of poor leadership is shifting blame to players for poor performance to cover the fact that the coach really doesn’t know what he or she is doing.
I recently heard about a coach complaining that her team wasn’t hitting the ball well enough and wasn’t scoring enough runs. Rather than try to help them solve the root issue(s), however, the coach merely said, “You guys need to hit better. Figure it out.”
How is that helpful? It’s not. It’s just a coach worried that her players’ lack of performance will make HER look bad.
That’s a sign of poor character. Even if the coach doesn’t know what to do technically, she should either bring in someone who does or at least try to bolster her players’ confidence at the plate so they’re not making things worse by tightening up and making poor swing decisions in the hopes that something good will happen (it usually doesn’t).
I think most teams have a code of conduct of some sort that they expect their players to abide by. Coaches should be held to at least that standard, if not a higher one.
Some simple things coaches can do to demonstrate strong character:
- Not smoking, drinking alcohol, or using other substances in the dugout or parking lot, or really anywhere their players are in uniform
- Not playing favorites with certain players; everyone earns their playing time based on merit, even if the coach doesn’t especially like certain players
- Not talking about some players to other players on the team, or to their parents, whether in-person, through direct communication, or on social media
- Not establishing “overly personal” relationships with anyone on the team;
- Enforcing team rules fairly and equally, don’t treat the rules as rules for non-starters and merely suggestions for starters
I remember hearing a great example of this last point being demonstrated several years ago by Mike Candrea, the former head coach at Arizona.
One of his star players broke a team rule a few days before the team was scheduled to play I believe in Regionals. She was seen as critical to the team’s success, and obviously the game they were about to play wasn’t a throw-away game.
Coach Candrea told the player she would not be joining the team on the trip, which may have come as a shock to the player and probably a whole lot of other people. When asked about it he said the rules are the rules, and they apply to everyone.
That had to be hard, especially because if I recall correctly Arizona did end up losing. But Coach Candrea demonstrated to every player on that team that fairness and integrity are (or at least should be) higher priorities than winning, even if the game is “important.”
It takes a lot of character to make that decision. When asked later if he had any regrets about it Coach Candrea emphatically answered, “No.”
That decision set a standard to which we should all aspire. What a tremendous life lesson for his players, and really everyone who has heard that story.
We are all products of our decisions, good and bad. But when you’re a coach you’re not the only one affected by them.
Hopefully whatever drove the coach in the opening story to do what she allegedly did can be overcome with some help and she can make better decisions in the future. But it does create a learning opportunity.
Just as we demand excellence from our players, so must we coaches also set higher expectations for ourselves as well. While it might be tempting to take a shortcut, or cheat a little here or there, or fudge the facts, or pass the blame onto others it’s important to take responsibility and demonstrate the qualities we want our players to exhibit on and off the playing field.
Character matters.
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Honesty Is Still the Best Policy When Talking to Players
There is a joke I heard a long time ago that pretty much sums up the softball player recruitment and retention process. It goes like this:
This guy dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. He’s excited about making it to Heaven, but St. Peter informs him that he is required to give the guy a choice about where he wants to spend eternity – Heaven or Hell. The guy is surprised, but figures rules are rules and goes along with it. St. Peter tells him he will get to check out each, then must make his decision.
He starts with a tour of Heaven. It’s everything he’d heard – angels sitting on clouds playing harps, everything white, everything calm and peaceful. It all seems pleasant enough and the guy is pretty sure what his decision will be.
Then he’s sent to Hell for a tour there. The Devil meets him at the Gate and welcomes him in warmly. As they walk inside the guy sees a huge party going on with plenty of alcohol, loud music and beautiful people dancing, singing and having the time of their lives.
“I’m shocked,” the guy says. “This isn’t what I pictured at all. I was expecting fire, brimstone and torture.”
“Fake news,” the Devil responds. “That’s just Heaven’s propaganda to try to keep humans from having a good time while they’re on Earth. It’s like this all the time.”
The guy joins in the party while he’s there, but pretty soon his time is up and he must go back to Heaven and give St. Peter his decision. “What do you think?” St. Peter asks him.
“Well, no one is more surprised than me but I am going to choose Hell,” the man says.
“Really?” St. Peter asks incredulously. “You realize this is for all eternity and there’s no going back?”
“Yes,” the man replies. “I appreciate all you’ve done but I’ve made my decision and that’s where I want to go.”
“Ok,” St. Peter tells him. “It’s your decision.” So St. Peter proceeds to do all the paperwork and send the guy off to his final destination. Once he walks inside, however, the man is shocked. All he can see in every direction is his worst nightmares – fire, brimstone, people being whipped and tortured in all sorts of horrible and creative ways.
“What is this?!” the guy screams. “Yesterday it was all parties and good times, and now it’s just horror after horror.”
At which point the Devil eyes him slyly and says, “Well, yesterday you were a prospect.”
The reason I recounted that joke is more and more I am hearing stories about players being promised the world by coaches during the tryout and/or recruiting process. But once they get there it’s a completely different stories.
Players are told they will pitch, but they never get time in the circle because they “don’t measure up” to the pitchers who were already there. They’re promised they will get plenty of time at an infield position, or catcher, or wherever but when game time comes – not just bracket play but even pool play or round robin friendlies – that playing time in that position never materializes. They’re told they don’t measure up to the girls in those positions (often coach’s kids, no surprise there) even though those girls are booting balls like they think they’re playing soccer, not fastpitch softball.
Hitters with high batting averages and OPS are being pushed down the lineup or sat on the bench entirely because they “aren’t used to seeing the level of competition” – even though they’ve already proven they can handle that level.
What becomes clear is that some coaches, hopefully a very small minority, are telling players and their families anything they want to hear in the courtship phase so they can round out their teams. They have no actual intention of providing those players with the opportunities they seek. They just want them there in case they need body to fill in should one of the “starters” get sick or go down with an injury.
Of course, they don’t want a weak link, so they want to get the best backups they can find. But they’re talking to those backups like they have a legitimate chance of taking over a starting position when that is never, ever going to happen – either because the coach doesn’t think the new player is as good as the current ones, or he/she is looking at his/her own kids through rose-colored parent glasses, or wants to be “loyal” to the current players, or has some other agenda.
It’s ok to view some players as starters and others as backups. It happens all the time at all levels. All I’m saying is then be honest with the player and her parents about the role she will play on the team.
Don’t tell her she will get pitching time when you have no intention of putting her in the circle. And don’t use one bad outing the first time out as an excuse to never pitch her again. She was probably nervous, having joined a new team and all and wanting badly to prove herself. That goes double if the team is a step or two up from her last team.
Instead, give her a few opportunities and then make your judgment. Anyone who works with analytics will tell you that you need a sufficient amount of data to spot a trend. One game, or a couple of innings, isn’t a sufficient amount of data.
The same goes with positions on the field. Don’t tell a player she will get an opportunity in the infield if you feel your infield is set and you don’t want to change it. Let her know where her opportunities are so she can make an informed decision about whether this is the team for her.
The same goes for getting on the field at all. If you see her as a backup or role player, be up-front about it. For example, if you want a speedy player to primarily be a courtesy or pinch runner, tell her that rather than saying she’ll get an opportunity at second base when you know that’s not true.
If you are honest about a player’s opportunities or role, the player and her parents will have no real cause to complain when what you said she would do is what she ends up doing. It’s only when coaches say anything so they can fill up their rosters that the trouble begins.
And it will begin. Because what you’ll likely find is that players who are promised a world of opportunities but instead get nothing of the kind will leave as soon as they figured out they’ve been had.
That, of course, is also the difference between the joke above and the reality of softball. In the joke, the decision of where to go was forever. In our sport, if your coach doesn’t want to play someone there’s always someone else who could use her particular set of skills.
So tough as it can be, coaches, be honest. In the long run it’s better for everyone. Including your own team. Because as big as the sport may seem, fastpitch softball is also a small, tight-knit community, especially at the local level, and people talk.
You build a reputation as someone who makes promises with no intention of delivering on them and it won’t be long before people are avoiding your team/program like the plague.
Yes, it can be tough to have those conversations, and there is a risk of pushing players away you might like to have. But it will save you a whole lot of drama and upheaval. And that alone may be worth it.
Life in the Fastpitch Lane 