Blog Archives
Take One More Look Around the Dugout
I’m not sure if it’s just human nature or perhaps a cultural thing, but it certainly seems like it’s common for most people to be always looking ahead to the future.
As graduation approaches, high school seniors look forward to starting a new era of freedom in college or their careers; college seniors look forward to starting their first jobs; older adults look forward to their next jobs or even retirement.
Yet at this time of the year, it’s important for players, parents, and coaches who are leaving the sport of fastpitch softball to take one more look around the present to appreciate all the good things that have been a part of the experience for the last several (or many years).
Players and parents can think about the first time those players grabbed a glove or bat, put on a uniform with their team’s name on it, and stood in the dirt.
They probably had no idea about the journey on which they were about to embark; they just knew they were excited to feel the sun on their faces and the breeze in their hair as they stood there waiting for someone to teach them where to go and what to do.
Along the way they made friends and established rivalries – some of them friendly, some of them not so much. At times those friendships and rivalries shifted as they joined different teams or went to different schools.
But always, always, there was the thrill of competition and the quest to get a little bit better so they could feel the thrill of external praise or the inner satisfaction of a job well done.
From those first days where they could barely lift the ball or the bat or take it in the right direction to the days when others marveled at their skill, they kept at it, game after game, week after week, year after year. Sometimes that meant waking up at zero dark thirty in a strange hotel room to get to a distant field, spending 12, 14, 16 hours at the ballpark through chilly, damp, foggy mornings followed by blistering heat followed by cool, damp night air, all in search of a championship trophy, ring, bat, or other memento.
Then, when it was done, making that long car ride home.
Or it meant enduring an uncomfortable, noisy ride in a bus that smelled like sweat socks, stale snacks, and the occasional vomit to play in freezing cold temperatures on rain-soaked or snow-soaked fields for the opportunity to represent their school and perhaps earn a conference title or perhaps a state tournament berth.
On the coaching side there was all the preparation and planning and looking for new drills or new ideas or new techniques that could give your team an edge. There were the unseen hours taking care of a field, planning lineups, reviewing stats, pricing and purchasing equipment, taking part in live or online coaching clinics, all to have every move you made on the field questioned by everyone who hadn’t done any of that.
For the parents it was all the hours spent sitting on a bucket or hitting ground/fly balls or pitching batting practice or chasing after balls that had been hit or driving one child to practice or lessons while trying to manage everything for your other children. Then feeling your breath catch and your blood pressure soar every time your favorite player toed the rubber or had a ball hit to her or stepped up to the plate.
Sometimes it seemed like it would never end. Yet now it has, or is about to.
The last out comes to us all. Some experience it sooner, some experience it later, but we all experience it.
When that final out comes to you, my advice is not to just rush off like it’s another game in a long line of games, because it’s not. It’s the end of a part of your life that was probably pretty important.
Before you pack up, take a little time to look around the dugout and the sidelines and experience as many of the sensations as you can one more time.
The refreshing touch of a cool breeze on a hot, hot late spring or summer day.
The sound of cleats clattering on concrete and scrunching in the dirt as the team goes to take the field. The music of balls popping sharply into gloves or cracking off a bat. Someone yelling “heads up” as you frantically try to avoid being plunked by an errant foul ball from another field. Or the low din of dozens of camp chairs and pop-up tents all being folded up at once.
The smell of hot dogs and hamburgers grilling in the distance, that whiff of a quick afternoon rain shower making its way toward you, or that unmistakable aroma of a new glove or fresh ball. Not to mention the fragrance of freshly mowed grass intertwined with the morning or evening dew, lying like a comfy blanket over the entire area.
Mostly, though, take a moment to remember all the souls that touched yours, and that you in turn touched, along the way.
Some may have been along for the whole journey. Others may have been there for a fleeting moment.
In reality, though, most were only there in your life because you shared a common interest in fastpitch softball. How lucky you were to have spent time with each and every one of them – even the ones you didn’t particularly care for.
Because they all had an impact, large or small, on shaping you into the person you are today.
You will move on to other challenges and adventures happy times and sad times, triumphs and failures. You may even go on to play other sports. I hear pickleball is popular now.
But there will never be anything like the thrill of competing (or watching your child/team compete) for all the marbles on a fastpitch softball team.
Hope you enjoyed it while it was happening. And if you’re not quite to that point, you can also take heed to appreciate it now, in the midst of all the craziness, because one day you’ll miss it all.
To all of those who have played, watched, or coached their final out, or are about to, I salute you. Thanks for your contributions to this great sport, and good luck to you whatever the future brings!
Just remember to take that last look around before you leave. You’ll be glad you savored the moment.
My good friend Jay Bolden and I have started a new podcast called “From the Coach’s Mouth” where we interview coaches from all areas and levels of fastpitch softball as well as others who may not be fastpitch people but have lots of interesting ideas to contribute.
You can find it here on Spotify, as well as on Apple Podcasts, Pandora, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you’re searching, be sure to put the name in quotes, i.e., “From the Coach’s Mouth” so it goes directly to it.
Give it a listen and let us know what you think. And be sure to hit the Like button and subscribe to Life in the Fastpitch Lane for more content like this.
Dugout photo by Nelson Axigoth on Pexels.com
Thank You and Farewell to Retiring Coaches
As the travel ball season winds down (that went fast!) some of you out there are coaching your final games. Whether your daughter is done with her fastpitch softball career, is going to a team with so-called “professional” coaches, your organization is making a change in how it selects coaches, you’ve just decided coaching is something you no longer want to do, or there is some other reason, the next couple of weeks (or so) will no doubt be bittersweet.
Well, I for one, want to thank you for taking on what is often a thankless job and doing your best to help the players you served as either a head or assistant coach.
As your last team plays its last few games, be sure you take a little time to reflect on the journey that brought you here. Because coaching youth sports is both one of the most difficult and most rewarding ways an adult can spend his/her time (if you are truly in it for the right reasons).
You’ve weathered countless storms of parents angry about their daughter’s playing time, the position she’s played, where she is in the batting order, decisions you made on the field, the caliber of teams you’ve played (either too hard or too soft), when and where you set up practice, some random comment you made that someone took personally, your selection of white pants, and how you enforced the team rules that were CLEARLY spelled out at the parent meeting you held right after tryouts were held and offers were accepted.
You’ve endured countless sleepless nights the night before the start of a tournament, going over batting orders, field lineups, contingency plans, and other things no one else had to worry about. You got to the hotel before everyone else so you could drive from the hotel to the tournament site to make sure the time Google maps says it will take your team to get to the field is the time it will actually take.
You’ve made sure someone is arranging meals and snacks. You’ve checked and re-checked the med kit to make sure you have everything you may need in case of injury.
You’ve carried around a 20 lb. bag of miscellaneous objects such as glove lace (and glove lacing tools), duct tape, spare sunglasses, a measuring tape, drying towels, cooling towels, and more to ensure you’re ready for every contingency. You’ve say through countless pre-tournament meetings while everyone else was off having a meal and/or an adult beverage or swimming in the pool.
And now that part is all over, and you may feel a little sense of relief. But you’re feeling something else too.
You know you’re going to miss working with your team, running drills and walking through situations to help your team learn this very complex and often heartbreaking game. You’re going to miss the challenge of facing an opponent that on paper looks to be better than you but that somehow your team manages to overcome.
You’re really going to miss the thrill of seeing a player who came to you barely able to put her glove on the correct hand suddenly blossom into regular contributor to your team’s success. And you’re going to miss the camaraderie that comes with spending so many hours with a group of people you really like as you work toward a common goal.
Come this fall if you don’t have a daughter playing anymore it’s going to feel strange to wake up at 8:00 am on a Saturday morning with nowhere to be and nothing to do.
If you do have one playing for someone else, it will still be odd to be sitting on the sidelines in your camp chair drinking coffee instead of tossing batting practice, fungoing ground and fly balls, or sitting in the dugout agonizing over a lineup.
So thanks for the hundreds of hours you’ve spent working with your players, attending live clinics and online classes to learn how to coach your players better, and missing out on events with family and friends because your team had a game to play. Thanks for always looking out for your players’ best interests, even when it felt like they may have conflicted with your own.
And most of all, thanks for caring about your players as people rather than just chess pieces to be pushed around a board. You may not realize it now, but the impact you made on at least some of their lives is probably immeasurable.
So as things wind down, take a moment to savor all that was great about being a coach. Linger a little longer after practice, and especially after your last game, and think about the good times you’ve had and the lives you have touched by saying “yes” when many others would have said and did say “no.”
Thank you Coach and farewell! You have made a difference in a lot of lives.
Main photo by Kindel Media on Pexels.com
Thoughts for Those at the End of Your Travel Ball Career
We are now at the point of softball travel ball where the season is winding down and teams are playing their final tournaments. It looked like such a long summer ahead back in May, yet here you are with just a few games left to play.
For many players, their thoughts have already turned to tryouts for next year. In fact, many of you have either already gone through the process or are in the midst of it.
But there’s one special group of players who aren’t thinking about next season: those who are playing their final season of travel ball. Those are the ones I want to address today.
It’s sure been a long journey for most of you. Maybe you started when you were 8 years old without a clue as to which field was right and which was left.
Maybe you started when you were 10. You played a couple of seasons of rec ball and then someone said, “Hey, you should try playing at a higher level,” or your friends were doing it so you thought you would too.
Or maybe you were kind of late to the travel ball party, starting around high school age. You had a lot of catching up to do but the effort was worth it
Whatever road you took to get here, you all ended up in the same place – the final games of your travel career.
If you’re not playing in college next year this is most likely the last time you’re going to play fastpitch softball at a truly competitive level. Sure you might join a club team if you go to college, or a slowpitch team that plays on a weeknight.
But it won’t be the same. The intensity of practice and the level of commitment required will be far less, and the overall atmosphere will be more laidback.
And even if you are continuing to play in college it will be a whole different world. No more spending 12+ hours at the ballpark with your team as you play five games in a day.
College teams play one game per day for the most part. About the only time they play more is if there was a rainout or a rainout is expected the next day. Then they will play two.
Unless you’re in the Women’s College World Series playoffs there won’t be dozens of other teams around either, sitting on the sidelines under canopies listening to music on earbuds or trying to catch a little nap. Just you and your opponent who come to the ballpark, play, and then leave.
It really is the end of an era for you, which is why it’s important to take a few moments as your travel ball career winds down to appreciate this very special time in your life and appreciate the journey.
As you go through these last few games, don’t just treat them like another day in a long series of days. Take a little time to appreciate the whole experience:
- When you’re warming up for your first game of the day, stop and sniff the air. Our sense of smell has the strongest connection to our memory. Even a faint hint of a familiar scent can trigger powerful emotions. So take a deep sniff and notice the fragrance of freshly mowed grass, a sweet breeze on a hot summer afternoon, maybe the hint of rain in the air, the charcoal coming from the grill at the concession stand, or even the leather in your glove. Someday, when you’re much older and making your way through the world, these sweet fragrances will take you back instantly to a time when your biggest care in the world was hitting your spots or not getting suckered in by a changeup.
- Take a moment to appreciate a freshly dragged and lined field. See the beauty of the chalk as it outlines the field of play, the world you’re about to inhabit for the next couple of hours. Enjoy the contrast it makes with the playing surface. (This also applies to turf, just in a different way.) You’ve been here a million times, sure, but have you ever really noticed it? The (hopefully) smooth surface and straight lines give promise to endless possibilities, It’s the perfect metaphor for what your life is about to become. See it and think of all the fields in all the places you’ve played, because soon the field won’t be yours to play on anymore.
- Enjoy the camaraderie of your teammates and being part of something larger than yourself one last time. When you first started you were probably among friends you already knew. Now, perhaps, you’re among friends you’ve made along the way, essentially by necessity as you all came together for a common goal. You will probably not remain close with most of them, but at some level you will always have a bond that time and circumstance cannot break. Years from now if you run into them you will talk about all the good times you had, and you may even be transported back in time for a few moments to when you were young and playing softball well seemed like the most important thing in the world to you.
Life rarely gives us a heads up as to when this will be your last time to do something you love. Parents never realize it’s the last time they will pick up their child. School friends rarely know it will be the last time they all meet at the playground.
This one, however, does have an expiration date. Take a little time to appreciate the entire travel ball experience one more time.
And when the final out of your final game comes and the cheers die down, win or lose, take a little extra time to soak it all in for as long as you can. Such days as these will rarely come again.
Life in the Fastpitch Lane 