Category Archives: Mental game
Book Recommendation: “Crunch Time”
We’ve all seen it or experienced it: the player or coach who is great in practice (aka a cage warrior) and seems like he/she should be a star, only to struggle when they get into a game. It’s frustrating to watch, especially because the breakdowns often seem to happen at the worst possible time, yet helping them break free of that mindset can be extremely challenging.
Fortunately I recently read a book that addresses this very issue. It’s called, “Crunch Time – How to Be Your Best When It Matters Most” by Rick Peterson and Judd Hoekstra.
If you’re not familiar with them, Rick Peterson is currently Developer of Pitching Development for the Baltimore Orioles, was the pitching coach for the Oakland A’s during the “Moneyball” era, and is considered one of the top pitching coaches in all of Major League Baseball.
Hoekstra is a bestselling author of books on leadership as well as a vice president at The Ken Blanchard Companies, a consulting firm that specializes in training business leaders at organizations of all sizes. Pretty good pedigrees for both authors.
While the book’s lessons apply to a general audience rather than specifically to baseball or softball, it definitely speaks to the challenges players and coaches face when challenged to perform under extreme pressure. The nice thing is it’s a pretty quick read too; I finished it cover-to-cover while on a 4.5 hour flight coming home from vacation.
The central theme of the book is that when you are facing a difficult situation you need to reframe it in order to manage the stress and allow yourself to perform the way you know you can. In other words, instead of seeing that difficult situation (such as an at bat where the game is on the line) as a threat, view it as an opportunity.
So in that example, the immediate threat is losing the game if the player doesn’t perform well, i.e., get a hit. But the underlying threats are that coaches and teammates will be mad at the player, the player might get benched, teammates won’t want to associate with the player, one or more parents might be angry with the player, the player will be embarrassed, etc.
The result is the player gets so caught up in potential consequences (especially if he/she has faced this situation before and failed) that he/she freezes up and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s difficult to perform at a high level when you’re paralyzed with fear.
After explaining the need for reframing the authors then get into several techniques to accomplish this task in subsequent chapters, including:
- Reframing from trying harder to trying easier
- Reframing from tension to laughter
- Reframing from anxiety to taking control
- Reframing from doubt to confidence
- Reframing from failure to learning moment
- Reframing from prepared to overprepared
Each chapter not only talks about the techniques but offers anecdotes from the authors’ experience of how they were applied. For example, Peterson talks about making mound visits during MLB games where he used humor to help a pitcher put what was happening into perspective, allowing him to get past an initial walk and single in order to strike out the heart of the opposing lineup and get out of the inning.
One of the nice things is that unlike many “mental game” books, applying the lessons in “Crunch Time” doesn’t require going through a plethora of exercises in order to master the techniques. It’s more of a philosophical approach presented in a simple form that makes it easy to grasp the lessons so you can begin applying them right away.
While I’ve been talking about how coaches can use the lessons in “Crunch Time” to help players, they can also use it to help themselves become better coaches at critical points of the game.
In that way it reminds me of a story legendary football coach Bill Walsh told in his book “The Score Takes Care of Itself.” Walsh was one of the first if not the first to develop the laminated play calling sheets all football coaches now have with them throughout the game, and was lauded as an innovator for doing it.
Yet in his telling, the reason he did it wasn’t because of some stroke of genius. It was the result of him having trouble making quick decisions under pressure. By creating the play calling sheets when he was calm and reasoned, i.e., before the game, he could just look at what he figured out already and just follow it, relieving the pressure of those in-game, critical decisions.
The lessons of “Crunch Time” can help in the same way. Take the international tie breaker, probably one of the most high-pressure situations in softball coaching because often any minor miscue or poor decision can lead to the loss of the game and possible elimination from a tournament or conference championship.
Rather than viewing a loss as a threat, by reframing it as an opportunity (we’ve prepared well for this situation so we have an advantage over our opponents who are clearly nervous about it) coaches can make strategic decisions with confidence, knowing their teams will execute, and can convey that sense of confidence to the team to keep them from being rattled and making those types of mistakes.
As I said earlier it’s a pretty quick read but there’s a lot of great thinking contained within the content. If you’re looking for techniques to help your players perform better, and/or ways to help grow your own coaching abilities, I recommend you pick up or download “Crunch Time.”
Remember to Celebrate Progress and Successes
The other day I went to visit a healthcare professional (HP). Nothing serious, just basically checking a box for the insurance company.
Anyway, we were talking about some lifestyle changes I’ve made to try to stay healthier longer. Yet it seemed like every time I told the HP about some improvement I’d made she countered with I should be doing this or that too.
It was kind of frustrating, because rather than feeling encouraged to continue doing better I was made to feel like no matter what I did it would never be good enough. The focus would always be on what more I could do or should be doing.
That experience got me to thinking about how we coach our fastpitch softball players. (Take that Google algorithms.)
Often times we coaches are so focused on trying to get our players ready for “the next level” (whatever that is) or trying to make them look just like the players we see on TV that we fail to acknowledge all the great work they’ve done to get themselves to this point. And that can be just as discouraging as my experience with the HP.
That’s why it’s important every now and then along the journey to stop and take a look backward even as you’re trying to look ahead to the next goal. Showing a player how far she has come can give her a real boost to continue putting in the work to keep moving forward.
Let’s take a hitter who has been working on her swing. Honestly, I get a fair amount of students whose only goal (or their parents’ only goal for them) is to not strike out every time they come to bat.
Mom and/or Dad aren’t looking for little Amelia to hit home runs or have the highest batting average on the team. They’re simply hoping she doesn’t get totally discouraged from playing because she wouldn’t hit water if she fell out of a boat.
They don’t want to have to cringe every time she comes to the plate, but that’s another story.
So Amelia gets help from a coach or instructor, fixes whatever was causing her to just randomly swing the bat and hope she hit something, and now she’s making contact with greater regularity and getting on base now and then. At which point the goal becomes to start hitting the ball to or over the fence.
That’s great that everyone wants Amelia to keep growing and improving. But maybe in the midst of all that take a step back to appreciate the fact that the original goal has been met and let Amelia feel good about what she has accomplished so far – at least for a few minutes.
Video is great for that, by the way. Even if Amelia isn’t quite getting on base often enough, showing her a video of how she used to swing the bat versus how she is swinging it now will probably help her build confidence and continue to focus on the process instead of the outcomes.
Then let the law of averages take care of the rest.
It’s the same for pitching. Maybe you have a goal of having a pitcher throw faster, or throw more strikes. Or both.
Regardless of the goal, the path to achieving it starts with improving her mechanics.
So perhaps when she started out she looked less like she was trying to pitch and more like she was trying to fold a fitted sheet.
Showing her a video of how she used to look versus how she looks now might give her some encouragement that she’s on the right track, even if the radar isn’t reflecting it or she’s still throwing a few too many in the dirt. That doesn’t mean you still don’t want to hold her to a higher standard.
But you can acknowledge the fact that she is improving so she has something to feel good about while she works toward the bigger payoff.
All of this doesn’t mean you should provide false praise just to spare the player’s feelings. If she’s not putting in the work and showing improvement that needs to be called out. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Often, however, we are in such a hurry to get to the ultimate goal (being names an MVP, making a particular team, winning a scholarship, etc.) that we don’t take the time to appreciate the progress that’s already been made.
So think about that today. If you’re a coach, what can you do to recognize how much better your players are today than they were a month ago, or three months ago, or a year ago, etc.?
If you’re a parent, what can you point to that lets your daughter know you are proud of how far she has come so far? Even if she still has a ways to go.
That little bit of encouragement may be just the thing your player needs to keep grinding – and build a level of confidence that will carry through not just her softball career but her whole life.
5 Positives to Not Being Invited Back
Right now the tryout season for next year is winding down in many part of the country – and beyond. That’s hard for an “old school” coach like me to conceive since I know of many teams that are still playing in various “National” tournaments with this year’s players,
But such is the reality of today’s fastpitch softball world.
For many next year will look pretty much like this year, i.e., same players (more or less) and same coaches. But for some, this is a time of heartache and tears because they’ve been informed that, despite having a tournament or two left to play right now, they are not being invited back to the team next year.
It’s difficult in any situation in life to hear you’re not wanted anymore by the people you’ve given your heart and soul to. If you’re a young, competitive athlete it can be particularly difficult.
So for those in that situation right now let me share a little secret: this may not be as bad of a thing as it seems right now.
Yes, it hurts not to be wanted. But this involuntary change of scenery might actually offer you one huge advantage – a clean slate with which to start over with no history or expectations.
Allow me to share a few of the positives this opportunity presents.
Positive #1: You’re not stuck in someone’s impression of you
It’s an unfortunate fact of life that once a coach decides who you are and what you can do that view never changes. Never mind that you worked hard over the offseason to improve your skills or increase your speed or build your strength.
For too many, the impression they got when you first joined the team is the impression you’re stuck with going forward.
On a new team you get a do-over. Even if that coach has the exact same issue – his/her first impression is the one you’re stuck with – you have that rare opportunity in life to create an all-new first impression.
In other words, wherever you are now is how that coach will see you rather than where you were a year ago. If you really put in the work you may find you’re rewarded better on the new team than you would have been on the old one.
Positive #2: Extra motivation
There is something to be said for revenge or an “I’ll show you” attitude to keep a player motivated on improvement throughout the long, boring offseason. There’s a pretty good chance you’re going to see your old team on the field, this time as an opponent.
What better way to get the better of the situation than to perform well, contribute to your new team’s victory, and show the old coaching staff what they missed in letting you go?
Now, I’m not saying you need to be mean or nasty about it. You don’t want to go into negative territory.
But there’s a pretty good chance that more has been accomplished in all fields in life by people who were once told they weren’t good enough to stay where they were than those who were safe and comfortable. If you’re a competitor at all, not being asked back should be all the fuel you need to kick your dedication and training level up or a notch or two.
And even if you never get a chance for that revenge game, the improvements you make in preparing for it will carry over to every other game in which you compete. Which is pretty cool by itself.
Positive #3: New opportunities
Sometimes moving to a new team can create opportunities you might never have gotten with the old team.
Perhaps the coach of the old team has a batting order he/she likes and never changes. Moving to a new team and proving yourself could give you the opportunity to hit higher in the lineup and get more at-bats. Especially if the coach bases his/her decisions on the stats instead of gut feel.
Or maybe you’ve always fancied yourself a shortstop but that position was already taken by one of the best to ever play the game. You’re not going to displace her no matter how good you are or how hard you work, whereas a new team will welcome your skill level at that position.
Having opportunities is particularly important for pitchers. So if you weren’t pitching much on the old team because you didn’t hit your spots or couldn’t match the others for speed, a new team with greater need at that position just might give you the opportunity you need to develop under game conditions – simply because they don’t have much choice.
All you can ask for is the opportunity to do whatever it is you want to do. The rest is up to you. But at least with the new team there could be more of a chance of getting that opportunity.
Positive #4: An overall better fit
Maybe you joined your old team because they had a great reputation for being the best in the area. But then you found out one of the reasons they’re the best is they are better at convincing already-developed players at coming to them than they are at developing players themselves.
Or maybe you enjoy being a multi-sport athlete while the rest of the team (and the coaches) are more about all softball all the time. As a result, you missed some games for your other sport(s) which caused you to have to sit the bench as punishment for choosing that sport over softball, even if the other sport was in-season and softball was not.
Or maybe the culture of the team was win at all costs, even if it means cheating or hurting your opponents on purpose while you’re more oriented toward playing a clean game.
Whatever the issue might be, you know in your heart of hearts that the old team wasn’t a good fit for you as a person, even if it was a good fit as an athlete. In that case, they probably did you a favor.
You can now find a team whose culture and attitude is a better fit for who you are and who you want to be. With a little distance you may even find that they did you a huge favor by not asking you back; sometimes it’s tough to see the negative behaviors when you’re in the middle of them.
Positive #5: Meeting new people and making new connections
It’s easy to get caught in a sort of closed-loop system, especially in today’s fastpitch softball world where you play so many games and have so many practices that your experience of the world outside your current team is limited.
By moving to a new team you may discover things or people you never knew existed. For example, you may find a skills coach (pitching coach, hitting coach, etc.) or a trainer who can elevate your game tremendously because one or more of your teammates goes to him/her.
You would have never known about that person had you stayed where you were. But this type of serendipity could end up leading you to skills and abilities you never knew existed within yourself.
The same goes for the other players. You may discover a friend for life you would have never known about had you stayed where you were.
Or you may find the way the players on this team approach the game is more in keeping with how you think of it, leading you to have a better overall experience. With a net result that you keep playing long after the attitudes on the old team would have driven you out.
Darkest before the dawn
Not being asked back to the team who already knows you can be tough on the ego and the psyche. It can make you feel like something is wrong with you, or cause you to think that you are somehow “less than” those who were asked back.
Don’t let that kind of thinking creep into your head. Just accept that there are many paths forward, and that what seems like a trauma right now could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you.
Keep a positive attitude, find that new team, and remind yourself that a year from now whatever sadness or hurt you’re feeling today will be little more than a bump in a much longer, better road for you as a player.
Now get out there and kick butt!
Heading photo by Karolina Kaboompics on Pexels.com
Surviving “One More” Syndrome
Friends, today we are gathered to address one of the most dreaded issues in all of fastpitch softball practice. Of course, I am talking about “One More” Syndrome.
It’s an issue that affects nearly every player at all levels at one time or another. You may not know it by name, but you know its effect.
There you are, working on hitting, pitching, fielding, or some other skill. You’ve had a very successful session when the coach (or a parent) announces “one more,” as in one more pitch to a hitter, one more ground ball to a fielder, one more rep of a particular pitch.
Suddenly it is as if you’ve never seen a softball before in your life, much less have hit, caught, or thrown one. Whatever skill you were executing with tremendous ability has completely abandoned you, leaving you flapping around the field like a drunken penguin.
This is a topic that came up during a lesson last night with a pitcher named Brooklyn. She was cruising along pretty well working on her changeup when I said, “Ok let’s throw one more” – at which point she totally tanked the pitch.
Brooklyn looked at me, smiled, shrugged, and asked, “What is it about saying one more that makes things go bad?” I had to admit I didn’t know, but it does seem to happen a lot. That’s when we came up with the idea of One More Syndrome.
So what can you do about it? One thing is not to put too much worry into it.
For whatever reason, this seems to be a very common affliction. If it was odd that would be one thing. But it pretty much happens to everyone sooner or later.
If you really want to put a stop to it, though, your best bet is probably just not to think about the fact that it’s the last whatever. Just treat it like one more rep and you’ll most likely be fine.
Worst case, just ask the coach or parent not to announce it’s the last one – at least all the time. That way you can work up to the mental toughness not to be affected so you can keep things moving along quickly.
“One More” syndrome is real. But it doesn’t have to be a terrible issue.
Just laugh about it and get on with your practice. Eventually you’ll get to the point where hearing “let’s do one more” will be just another ordinary phrase.
Coaches: Remember What You Do Makes A Difference
Coaching fastpitch softball can be a grueling grind. The seemingly never ending games, practices, organizational meetings, fundraising concerns, educational seminars, late night calls from concerned parents. etc. can all take their toll after awhile.
That’s why coaching burnout is such an issue and threat to everyone who is crazy enough to grab a clipboard (or tablet) and step onto a fastpitch softball diamond.
It’s easy to become overwhelmed by the sheer volume of work, not to mention the intensity of trying to help 12-15 players become the best versions of themselves as athletes and human beings. That’s a huge responsibility.
But underlying all of that is something else – something embodied in a great scene in the movie Star Trek Generations. (If you’re not familiar with it, this was the movie that handed off the film series from Star Trek the Original Series [TOS to you Trekkers out there] to Star Trek: The Next Generation [TNG]. I so rarely get to use the [square brackets] so what a treat for me.)
This scene takes place shortly after TNG’s Captain Picard runs into TOS’ Captain Kirk in a place called The Nexus, which is sort of a Field of Dreams for sci fi. In it, Captain Picard has been trying to convince Captain Kirk to come back to our reality and help him stop the bad guy who is killing billions of people in his attempt to get back into The Nexus.
At first Captain Kirk turns him down because he is perfectly content in The Nexus. No surprise there because it’s where your life can be whatever you want it to be.
But then Captain Kirk has a realization. (It takes a minute to get to the payoff in this clip but it’s worth it, trust me.)
If you didn’t bother to watch the clip, or weren’t able to, Captain Kirk’s realization is that while he was in Star Fleet he could make a difference in the world. Since he left, though, nothing he does really matters that much.
That’s what coaching enables you to do – make a difference in the lives of your players. And by extension their families.
None of us knows what goes on behind the scenes in the lives of others. So it’s easy to assume that everything is all hunky-dory with them, and that the face you see is indicative of what’s happening “under the hood.”
That may not be the case, however. I can’ remember who originally said it, but I once saw a statement that admonished coaches to remember that their practice might be the best part of their players’ day.
Maybe the player is struggling in school, or had a fight with her parents. Maybe she’s being bullied, or has had a close friend abandon her.
Maybe there is some food or housing insecurity in her family, or a favorite pet is on the brink of crossing the rainbow bridge. (Don’t click the link if you are in public and susceptible to emotional demonstrations.)
There could be hundreds of different things happening in your players’ lives. But when they get to your practice or game they have opportunity to set all of that aside and do something that makes them feel good about themselves and their lives, providing you’re doing it correctly.
The guidance you provide in helping your players overcome various softball hurdles is very likely to carry forward into the rest of their lives.
As a result, you can help a shy kid learn to make friends. You can help a kid who is always down on herself or feeling she isn’t good enough develop self-confidence.
You can help a kid who always follows the crowd (for better or worse) step up and learn to become a leader instead. Or at least learn to make better decisions rather than succumbing to peer pressure.
You can help a kid who has always been coddled and over-protected by her parents learn to manage adversity. You can help a kid with behavioral issues learn to work in a team setting.
You can help a naturally lazy kid develop a work ethic. You can help a kid who over-thinks everything learn to let go of her conscious thoughts (and fears) and trust her gut.
You can help a kid who feels like a failure learn what it’s like (and what it takes) to succeed. You can help a kid who feels unloved and unwanted at home to feel like she’s part of a family of sorts.
You might even prevent a kid from doing harm to herself or others. All while you are helping those kids learn to catch, throw, pitch, and/or hit a softball.
In other words, you can make a difference.
And you never know the ripple effect of making that difference either. Perhaps that kid you helped in some way goes on to cure cancer, or improve the environment, or become an elected official who enacts policies that make everyone’s life better.
Or even becomes a coach herself someday and pays what you did for her forward. Or maybe just grows into a great human being who has a family and/or contributes to society in some small but meaningful way.
All because you were there as her softball coach, making a bigger difference than you could have possibly realized.
Yes, coaching fastpitch softball, like any sport, can be a grind after a while. You definitely need to pay attention to your physical and emotional wellbeing if you’re going to help others. Just like how on a jet they tell you to put on your oxygen mask before you try to help others.
But when things get tough, keep in mind how empty your life would be if you weren’t coaching. Because as Captain Kirk says, while you’re in that chair you can still make a difference.
Make that difference for someone today.
Fear of the Ball? They’re Not Wrong!
Every coach knows that being afraid of the ball, whether said ball is being hit, pitched, or thrown at a player, is one of the greatest performance-killers. It’s kind of like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: players need to feel safe before they put all their energy into whatever activity it is they’re trying to do.
Those who have coached the littles know exactly what I’m talking about. You can see it when they step sideways to catch a thrown or fly ball, or automatically back out of the batter’s box when they’re hitting, or do the “matador” as they try to field a ground ball.
This isn’t just a problem with the littles, however. Many older players also harbor some level of fear of the ball; they’re just better at hiding it.
The typical coach reaction when these things happen is to yell at the player to “stay in there” or “stay in front of it.” But given a choice between being yelled at and actually feeling physical pain, it’s pretty obvious what their subconscious is going to opt for.
I think the thing coaches with players who are afraid of the ball have to acknowledge is that in many or even most cases those kids aren’t wrong. If the ball hits them instead of their bat or glove, it’s going to hurt. That’s just science.
So if you want to get your daughter or your players past moving away from the ball preemptively it’s going to take more than telling them “don’t do that.” Here are some tidbits that may help you with that task.
The Fear Is Often Worse Than the Reality
A lot of the kids who are afraid of the ball haven’t necessarily experienced the pain before. Their brains are simply making assumptions based on other past experiences.
Take a hitter who backs out of the box when the ball is pitched. She’s never been hit by a pitch before. But…
She has been hit by other flying objects before. Maybe a sibling threw a toy at her with sufficient force that it caused bruising or bleeding.
She also knows from picking it up that the ball is hard. So even though she has never actually been hit with a ball while hitting she is afraid of similar pain.
Once she has been hit by the ball, however, she’ll then have a frame of reference for it and it won’t seem so bad after that.
Does that mean you should throw balls with the intention of hitting your players? Of course not. But you can toss them lightly into their arms to help them start overcoming their fear.
You can also give them some incentives. When I pitch to girls who like to automatically step back I tell them if they do it again I will start throwing behind them, and may even toss one back there (lightly) to give them more reason to stay in.
If you’re going to do that, however, be careful. I have hit one or two unintentionally because I didn’t get it far enough behind them. It worked to solve the problem, but it’s not exactly the way to build the player-coach relationship.
Take the Reason for Fear Out
Most of the time a fear of the ball is driven by a lack of confidence that the player can avoid being hit. She feels like she doesn’t have the skills to catch the ball, for example, so she sidesteps to avoid any mishaps that may result from that lack of skill.
The solution here is to give them something less threatening to work with. For example, have players who are afraid play catch with foam balls like a Jugs Lite Flite ball.
The light weight and softer texture will make the entire process less threatening to them. And unless they’re hit right on the nose by a hard-thrown ball at close distance – something you should control in practice – being hit by the ball won’t produce any pain.
When they realize that they will be less inclined to bail out right away, enabling them to build proper skills so they are more confident when a real ball is introduced again.
SIDE BENEFIT: The lighter weight will also encourage them to adopt better throwing mechanics because you don’t need as much strength to throw them.
Be Smart With Practice Reps
One of the temptations coaches have when hitting ground balls is to hit them as hard as they can so the girls “are ready” for hard-hit balls in games.
The problem is, an adult coach (male or female) can hit a ground ball a lot harder than a 99% of 10 year olds will at that age. So rather than teaching their players to get in front of the ball and move into it, they’re teaching their players to sit back and try to avoid getting nailed with the ball.
This approach not only instills fear, it also teaches them to wait on the ball rather than charging it if it’s not hit hard. I don’t know how it is where you live, but the majority of ground balls in a 10U game in my area require being charged.
A better approach in my opinion is to start easy and let them build the confidence in their glove skills – especially if you’re playing on a dirt field that hasn’t been laser-leveled and groomed. Then gradually build the speed until it’s realistic for what they’re going to face.
You might even want to start by rolling balls to them rather than hitting them so they can put their entire focus on learning how to field and make the throw properly. THEN get into hitting them.
This isn’t just for the littles by the way. College and even national team-level teams do this all the time to refine their skills.
Obviously they’re not dealing with fear of the ball at that level (at least hopefully not). But this approach works for both.
Acknowledge the Fear
As an adult it’s really easy to think players should just ignore their fear of the ball. You have 2X, 3X, maybe even 4X as much experience dealing with the issue.
But try to think of it from your players’ experience. As mentioned above, maybe they’re never been hit and so have built the outcome up in their minds more than the reality will be.
Maybe they have been hit and it’s the worst pain they’ve experienced so far in their young lives. You know may know that getting by the ball is nothing compared to a kidney stone or an automobile accident injury, but they don’t. It’s all a matter of scale.
Whatever the reason, it’s not a monster under the bed you can tell them to ignore. It’s very real.
Be understanding and help them work through it little by little. If they feel safe with you they’ll overcome the fear quickly – and could turn out to be your best players in the long run.
Throw It Like You Know It
So, you’re a fastpitch pitcher and you’ve added a new pitch to your arsenal. You’ve worked weeks, or months, to learn the nuances and perfect it to the point where you throw it pretty reliably in practice.
But then, when you go to trot it out in a game, it turns into a hot mess.
If it’s a drop ball it rolls in like you’re playing bocce ball. Changeups go sailing high and wide, riseballs go over the backstop, and curveballs end up forcing your catcher to lay out after them like a wide receiver catching a pass from the third-string quarterback.
So what happened?
There’s a pretty good chance the problem isn’t from the neck-down; it’s from the neck-up. Because instead of just relaxing and throwing the pitch you practiced, you got nervous that it wasn’t going to work and started tying yourself in knots trying to make sure it did.
How did that work out for you?
That’s why, when you go to introduce a new pitch to your gametime routine, you need to clear your mind of thoughts about it being your first time, you hope it works, it was really bad last time, etc. and just throw it like you know it.
There’s a pretty good chance if you’ve been pitching for a while you don’t think much about throwing your fastball – or whatever your base pitch is. You’ve done it thousands of times by now, and you already know you can do it.
Doesn’t mean it will be perfect every time – no one’s is, not even the high-level pitchers you admire. But you’re not worried because you know if this one doesn’t work quite right the next one will.
Well, it’s the same with a new pitch. Let’s take a changeup.
You told your coach you’ve been working on it and want to throw it this game. You’ve gotten the speed and location to be right in practice but have little to no experience with in games.
When the call comes in, however, your muscles tense, your mouth gets dry, and you start to breathe a little harder and more rapidly.
There’s really no reason for that reaction, however. First of all, hopefully your coach is smart enough to call it in a situation where the outcome doesn’t matter, such as no one on base and you’re ahead in the count 0-2 or 1-2.
At that point, what’s the worst that can happen? You throw a ball and it’s now 1-2 or 2-2. You’ve thrown balls before with the fastball, so why should this particular one be treated any differently?
Oh, but you’re worried you’re going to embarrass yourself by rolling it in or sailing it over your catcher’s head. So what’s the difference here?
The count is still 1-2 or 2-2, just as it would be if you had barely missed the strike zone. No runners advanced, no one walked, a shadow didn’t fall upon the earth, seas didn’t begin to boil, the ground didn’t rupture. no one died. It’s just a ball.
Only now you’ve thrown one in a game, you know a little more what it feels like, and you’ve just taken another step forward in your pitching career. Someday, when throwing a changeup is as natural to you as breathing, you’ll probably laugh about it.
So given all that, why worry about it at all?
The better approach is to pretend like you’ve been throwing this new pitch for years and just chuck it in there – i.e., throw it like you know it. With a more positive approach like that you’re far more likely to have success, and avoid all the negative outcomes you were worried about originally.
By the way, this concept isn’t just for pitchers. Hitters should apply their new hitting mechanics rather than relying on their old ways.
Slappers, particularly converted righties, should go after their slaps as if they’ve been doing it for years. Fielders should try that new sidearm tilted toss as though it’s been part of their routine all along. And so on.
If you take the “throw it like you know it” approach you’ll find you build your confidence quickly and your game will improve exponentially. You’ll also find you’re having a lot more fun in the process.
Remember: Those Players You’re Criticizing Are Real People
This year’s (2023 for future readers) Women’s College World Series (WCWS) was another huge score for the sport. The TV coverage overall drew an average of 1.1 million viewers per game, up 6% over last year according to Sports Business Journal, while the championship game peaked with 2.3 million viewers.
What tremendous visibility for our sport! Yet as it grows in popularity there is an unfortunate, unintended consequence that comes with it: an marked in increase in harsh and just downright mean comments about the 18 to 22 year old women who play the game.
You see, with the size of the spectacle comes an increased dissociation of the player we see from the human being she is. When you don’t think of the player as a real person, it’s easy to criticize her based on the observer’s impossibly high expectations of perfection.
In other words, the standards that are often applied to highly paid professional athletes with years of experience are now being used to measure the performance and value of young women who are just beginning to come of age. That doesn’t feel right to me.
Yet it’s not just these high-level college players who are feeling the sting of these harsh and sometimes even troll-level comments, often delivered by people who never picked up a ball and competed themselves. They’re also being directed at lower-level college, high school and even younger players in social media and softball-related forums and websites.
Now consider that according to the National Institute of Mental Health, the human brain doesn’t finish developing until a person is in their mid-to-late 20s. (And for the people I’m talking about in this post it may never fully develop.)
What that means is you have unthinking people lobbing terrible comments at adolescents and young adults whose brains may not be equipped to handle them. It may not feel personal to the stranger making the comment – after all, these are just images on a screen or random players on a field to them – but it can feel VERY personal to those on the receiving end.
Consider the college player who makes an error at a critical time that contributes to a loss that knocks her team out of the WCWS. (It doesn’t cause the loss because in the course of the game there were plenty of opportunities to make that error meaningless, but happening when it does puts it in the spotlight).
She feels bad enough about it already. But then someone she doesn’t know has to go and call her out in a way that is rude and classless to make him/herself look smart or superior.
What the commentor doesn’t know is this young woman may already be suffering from significant self-doubt or even full-on Imposter Syndrome. That comment might be enough to put her over the edge to where it affects more than her ability to play softball.
Because underneath the uniform is a real human being with a real story and real feelings of her own. She didn’t mean to make the error, she worked really hard on her game so she wouldn’t make that error, but sometimes it still occurs.
Some of these rude commentators like to get even more personal about it because it makes them feel big. They’ll go into a public forum and paraphrase a line from the Mighty Ducks 2, saying a player with a larger body size would have caught that pop-up if it was a cheeseburger.
They may think they’re being funny, but to an athlete already dealing with body or other self-image issues, these types of hurtful comments can be devastating.
It’s not that they’re snowflakes, because in the course of their day they are likely dealing with a lot of pressure from all sides and handling it well. But we all have chinks in our armor, and that’s one that can end up ripping a pretty big hole if the player already has a negative self-image.
Look, everyone has a story, and even if you see a profile on ESPN you’re not getting the whole story. Just the part of it everyone wants to highlight. Like a duck on the water it may look calm on top, but underneath there’s a lot of churning going on.
Before you choose to criticize or comment on a player in a harsh way, stop and think. Is this the way I’d want someone talking about me, or my wife, daughter, sister, etc.?
Remember that all those players you’re watching aren’t just images in a video game. They’re real, live human beings with real, live feelings and all their own personal stuff they’re going through.
If you feel the need, criticize the play but not the player. It’s simply the right thing to do.
Internet troll graphic: Simplicius (talk · contribs); derivative work by odder, CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
Helping Players Feel Good about Themselves More Critical Than Ever
In February of this year the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) revealed the most recent results of its survey on the mental health of youths, along with a 10-year analysis of trends in that area. The news, in many cases, isn’t good – especially for teenage girls
The Youth Risk Behavior Survey Data Summary & Trends Report: 2011-2021 showed that 57% of teenage girls reported feeling a persistent sense of sadness or hopelessness in the last year. That’s an all-time high, and a full 21 percentage points increase over 10 years ago. Additionally, 41% of teenage girls reported experiencing poor mental health in the last 30 days, and nearly one-third (30%) considered suicide over the last year versus 19% in 2011.
These are disturbing figures to say the least, and they are definitely trending in the wrong direction. So what can fastpitch softball coaches do to help the situation? Here are a few suggestions.
Create a Positive, Welcoming Atmosphere
Most of your players probably won’t show that they are experiencing feelings of sadness or hopelessness at practice or at games, but that doesn’t mean those feelings aren’t there.
Many may see playing softball as the best part of their day. It can be a refuge from all the rest of the turmoil of social media, peer pressure, grade pressure, etc. they’re facing.
But if practices and games consist of a lot of yelling, screaming, brutal criticism, and punishment, softball can quickly become one more burden contributing to the downhill spiral.
Instead of taking a command and control approach try being more positive with your players. Try to catch them doing good instead of always commenting on what they’re doing wrong.
I’m not saying you have to turn practice into a birthday party without the cake. There is certainly a time for correction and a need to hold players accountable.
But don’t make it all negative. Look for the positives and help players feel good about themselves when they perform well – or even make an effort to do things they couldn’t before.
You never know when a kind word or a metaphorical pat on the back might be the thing that keeps one of your players from becoming another sad statistic.
Pay Attention to Warning Signs
It’s unlikely any of your players will come out and say they’re feeling unhappy or having difficulty. People with depression in particular get really good at covering it up – at least until the dam breaks.
One thing to look for is a change in the way they interact with their teammates. If they are suddenly quiet and withdrawn where they were once boisterous and interactive it could be a sign something is going on with them.
It may just be a problem with a teammate or two, but it could also be a sign of something deeper. Either way, you’ll want to know about it and address is sooner rather than later.
This also applies to how they interact with you. If a player used to speak with you on a regular basis but has now become withdrawn it could be a sign of something deeper going on in their lives.
You can also look for a change of eating habits. If you’re doing team meals, or even just handing out snacks to keep your players fueled through a long practice, take not if someone suddenly stops eating or just picks at their food.
Pay attention to how they manage their equipment. Now, some players are just slobs who throw everything in their bags haphazardly. That doesn’t mean they’re experiencing sadness. In fact, some of the happiest players I’ve ever known have earned the name “Pigpen.”
If, however, a player used to take better care of her equipment but is now letting it stay dirty or putting it away in a random manner, you may want to initiate a conversation to check in on her mental health.
You may also notice a sudden loss of focus, such as a player making mentals errors she didn’t used to make. If she is having difficulty coping with her life she may not be able concentrate her efforts on the task at hand. Instead of just yelling “focus!” you might want to check if there is something deeper going on.
Finally, pay attention to whether a player is suddenly reporting more injuries or illnesses than she did before. That could be the case, or it could be a sign of her not being able to muster the enthusiasm to participate and using injury/illness as an excuse.
If it seems to be becoming a habit you may want to sit her down and find out if there is something more going on.
Offer a Sympathetic Ear
Many teens who experience these feelings of sadness or hopelessness tend to feel like there is nowhere they can go to discuss them. They’re afraid of their peers finding out, and some may be uncomfortable talking to their parents about it.
Make sure your players know they can always come to you to talk about what’s going on in their lives. That doesn’t necessarily mean you should try to solve them, however.
In simple cases you can offer some friendly advice and encouragement. Often times teens simply have a desperate need to be heard or to get what they’re feeling out in the open.
But if you suspect something deeper is happening in their lives you’ll want to refer them to a qualified, Board-certified mental health professional. That person will be trained to help teens work through their feelings and recognize deeper issues that could have a profound effect on their physical and mental health in the future.
Just showing you care in a meaningful way, however, can be just the boost that player needs to take the next step to getting past her issues.
Not “Soft”
There is a temptation for some among us to blame these mental health issues on kids today being “soft” or “snowflakes.” “Back in my day,” they like to say, “we didn’t have these problems.”
Actually you did, but no one talked about it. They just suffered in misery, and some took their lives, because no one was recognizing the problem.
It’s also true that life today is very different than it was 10, 15, 25 or more years ago. The pace is faster, and the exposure to impossible standards is relentless.
In softball terms that can mean seeing pitchers your age (or younger) throwing harder than you in social media posts and feeling like you’re not good enough. Never mind that you’ve added a few mph over the last several months and are doing well in your games. You’re still be compared to everyone in the country.
Or it can mean seeing all these hitters blasting home runs while you’re hitting singles, or seeing a list of “Top 10 12 year olds” and not seeing your name on the list.
None of that existed in the so-called “good old days.” But it does now.
That’s why it’s important to be aware of what’s happening with your players and do whatever you can to give them a great experience. You may not just change a game outcome or two. You could change a life.
Photo by Randylle Deligero on Pexels.com
Keep Pursuing Your Dreams – Even When It’s Tough
This was the scene at a small bar and restaurant in December of 1961. An ambitious but pretty much unknown band arrived for a gig only to discover there were just 18 people in the place.
They could have been discouraged by the lack of attendance, and they could have decided to just hang it up after such a disappointing turnout. But they continued to believe in themselves, and knew that all that work they were putting in at obscure venues with hardly anyone watching would pay off eventually.
Most fastpitch softball players know the feeling. It can be a real grind.
Practicing in freezing cold barns in the winter and hot, smelly barns or outdoors on hot, humid days in the summer. Hours spent in private lessons, then many more hours practicing on your own.
Then you go out to a game and you stink up the field. You strike out at the plate.
You miss your spots as a pitcher or hang a pitch that gets driven toward South America. You boot a routine ground ball and follow it up by throwing the ball into the parking lot, or drop a can of corn fly ball that you should be able to catch with both eyes closed.
You begin to wonder if it’s worth it – all the time spent, all the energy expended, all the heart and soul poured into a game that doesn’t seem to love you back. You think maybe you’d be better served finding something else to do with all those hours and days.
Don’t worry, those feelings actually very normal. It can be difficult to work that hard at something only to see it go bad anyway.
The thing to remember, however, is that failure (or near-failure) is only temporary. It’s also an opportunity to learn and grow.
If you struck out, whether once or every time, figure out why. Was your timing off? Were you dropping your hands and looping your swing (even though you’ve been working on not doing that)?
If you struggled as a pitcher did you focus on your mechanics when you practiced or did you just throw the ball for a prescribed period of time? Did you demand more of your pitches or did you just say “good enough” and move on?
If you had trouble fielding or throwing did you put in extra time or just stick to the minimums?
The reality is whether you do well or not is largely in your own hands. Yes, it helps to have quality coaches and/or quality training, and it certainly doesn’t hurt to be blessed with an abundance of athletic ability. None of those things are within your control.
But what is under your control is your approach to getting better. You can decide how hard you work.
You can decide how you spend your time each day, each practice. You can decide how you will react to things that are outside of your control.
And most of all, you can decide whether you are willing to do the things that are necessary to achieve your dreams or will give up at the first sign of adversity.
My recommendation, of course, is if you love fastpitch softball find a way to fight through the tough times and keep an eye on your goal. Because again, failure is only permanent if you let it be.
You can get better if you want to – and are willing to pay the price. It won’t be easy. But nothing worthwhile ever is.
As for that obscure little band from a rough-and-tumble working class city not exactly known for its contribution to the arts, things definitely did get better for them after that sparsely attended performance on a cold winter’s night in December 1961.
By December the following year they had secured a recording contract and released their first single. It didn’t do especially well but it was a start.
Within another few months they would see their next single reach #1 on the pop charts, and things would keep getting better from there. Eventually they would change the world – more than once.
Here’s a better look at that band from December 1961.
Everyone starts somewhere. The ones who make it are the ones who keep plugging away.
Life in the Fastpitch Lane 