Right now the tryout season for next year is winding down in many part of the country – and beyond. That’s hard for an “old school” coach like me to conceive since I know of many teams that are still playing in various “National” tournaments with this year’s players,

But such is the reality of today’s fastpitch softball world.

For many next year will look pretty much like this year, i.e., same players (more or less) and same coaches. But for some, this is a time of heartache and tears because they’ve been informed that, despite having a tournament or two left to play right now, they are not being invited back to the team next year.

It’s difficult in any situation in life to hear you’re not wanted anymore by the people you’ve given your heart and soul to. If you’re a young, competitive athlete it can be particularly difficult.

So for those in that situation right now let me share a little secret: this may not be as bad of a thing as it seems right now.

Yes, it hurts not to be wanted. But this involuntary change of scenery might actually offer you one huge advantage – a clean slate with which to start over with no history or expectations.

Allow me to share a few of the positives this opportunity presents.

Positive #1: You’re not stuck in someone’s impression of you

It’s an unfortunate fact of life that once a coach decides who you are and what you can do that view never changes. Never mind that you worked hard over the offseason to improve your skills or increase your speed or build your strength.

For too many, the impression they got when you first joined the team is the impression you’re stuck with going forward.

On a new team you get a do-over. Even if that coach has the exact same issue – his/her first impression is the one you’re stuck with – you have that rare opportunity in life to create an all-new first impression.

In other words, wherever you are now is how that coach will see you rather than where you were a year ago. If you really put in the work you may find you’re rewarded better on the new team than you would have been on the old one.

Positive #2: Extra motivation

There is something to be said for revenge or an “I’ll show you” attitude to keep a player motivated on improvement throughout the long, boring offseason. There’s a pretty good chance you’re going to see your old team on the field, this time as an opponent.

What better way to get the better of the situation than to perform well, contribute to your new team’s victory, and show the old coaching staff what they missed in letting you go?

Now, I’m not saying you need to be mean or nasty about it. You don’t want to go into negative territory.

But there’s a pretty good chance that more has been accomplished in all fields in life by people who were once told they weren’t good enough to stay where they were than those who were safe and comfortable. If you’re a competitor at all, not being asked back should be all the fuel you need to kick your dedication and training level up or a notch or two.

And even if you never get a chance for that revenge game, the improvements you make in preparing for it will carry over to every other game in which you compete. Which is pretty cool by itself.

Positive #3: New opportunities

Sometimes moving to a new team can create opportunities you might never have gotten with the old team.

Perhaps the coach of the old team has a batting order he/she likes and never changes. Moving to a new team and proving yourself could give you the opportunity to hit higher in the lineup and get more at-bats. Especially if the coach bases his/her decisions on the stats instead of gut feel.

Or maybe you’ve always fancied yourself a shortstop but that position was already taken by one of the best to ever play the game. You’re not going to displace her no matter how good you are or how hard you work, whereas a new team will welcome your skill level at that position.

Having opportunities is particularly important for pitchers. So if you weren’t pitching much on the old team because you didn’t hit your spots or couldn’t match the others for speed, a new team with greater need at that position just might give you the opportunity you need to develop under game conditions – simply because they don’t have much choice.

All you can ask for is the opportunity to do whatever it is you want to do. The rest is up to you. But at least with the new team there could be more of a chance of getting that opportunity.

Positive #4: An overall better fit

Maybe you joined your old team because they had a great reputation for being the best in the area. But then you found out one of the reasons they’re the best is they are better at convincing already-developed players at coming to them than they are at developing players themselves.

Or maybe you enjoy being a multi-sport athlete while the rest of the team (and the coaches) are more about all softball all the time. As a result, you missed some games for your other sport(s) which caused you to have to sit the bench as punishment for choosing that sport over softball, even if the other sport was in-season and softball was not.

Or maybe the culture of the team was win at all costs, even if it means cheating or hurting your opponents on purpose while you’re more oriented toward playing a clean game.

Whatever the issue might be, you know in your heart of hearts that the old team wasn’t a good fit for you as a person, even if it was a good fit as an athlete. In that case, they probably did you a favor.

You can now find a team whose culture and attitude is a better fit for who you are and who you want to be. With a little distance you may even find that they did you a huge favor by not asking you back; sometimes it’s tough to see the negative behaviors when you’re in the middle of them.

Positive #5: Meeting new people and making new connections

It’s easy to get caught in a sort of closed-loop system, especially in today’s fastpitch softball world where you play so many games and have so many practices that your experience of the world outside your current team is limited.

By moving to a new team you may discover things or people you never knew existed. For example, you may find a skills coach (pitching coach, hitting coach, etc.) or a trainer who can elevate your game tremendously because one or more of your teammates goes to him/her.

You would have never known about that person had you stayed where you were. But this type of serendipity could end up leading you to skills and abilities you never knew existed within yourself.

The same goes for the other players. You may discover a friend for life you would have never known about had you stayed where you were.

Or you may find the way the players on this team approach the game is more in keeping with how you think of it, leading you to have a better overall experience. With a net result that you keep playing long after the attitudes on the old team would have driven you out.

Darkest before the dawn

Not being asked back to the team who already knows you can be tough on the ego and the psyche. It can make you feel like something is wrong with you, or cause you to think that you are somehow “less than” those who were asked back.

Don’t let that kind of thinking creep into your head. Just accept that there are many paths forward, and that what seems like a trauma right now could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you.

Keep a positive attitude, find that new team, and remind yourself that a year from now whatever sadness or hurt you’re feeling today will be little more than a bump in a much longer, better road for you as a player.

Now get out there and kick butt!

Heading photo by Karolina Kaboompics on Pexels.com