The desire/urge to compete is pretty much baked into our DNA. Where originally it was a survival mechanism – those who were best at finding resources (or taking them from others) were the most likely to live – that drive lives on today in many forms, including the desire/urge to score more runs than an opponent.

It can be good thing, spurring us on to achieve more than we would have otherwise had we not had an example to compete against or a level of performance to aspire to. But it can also turn ugly when it moves from helping us establish goals to judging our self-worth by how we compare to others – either specific individuals or others in general.

The problem with these types of comparisons is they often don’t take into account the fact that the competition is often not occurring on a level playing field.

Take a couple of beginning pitchers for example. They both start learning at the same time, so it’s easy to think that they will progress at the same pace.

But maybe one is a little more naturally athletic or simply more coordinated than the other because physically they’re developing at different paces – each at her own pace, incidentally. The more athletic one is likely to jump out to an early lead, throwing harder, throwing more strikes, being ready for a second pitch, etc. before the other.

The one who falls a little behind may look at it and feel bad about herself. She can say, “I work just as hard and practice more, but I am not getting the same results. Therefore I must not be very good.”

That’s the wrong way to look at it, in my opinion. Rather than comparing herself to the other pitcher, the second girl should instead look inward to see if she is better than she was a week ago, a month ago, six months ago, etc. She might like what she sees a whole lot better.

Perhaps when the girl who’s feeling bad started out she was arcing the ball in, or having trouble making it to the plate. For an older girl, maybe she was throwing hard but it was anyone’s guess where it might go.

Now she is getting to the point where you could put her in a game when it matters. She may not be quite as spectacular as the other one (at this moment), but she is leaps and bounds better than she used to be.

And here’s the funny thing. Just because she’s behind right now doesn’t mean she will be forever.

Some kids are just naturally more coordinated than others at younger ages. Some kids have earlier exposure than others to quality coaching, which shortcuts the learning process. Some kids just take a little longer to grow or gain strength than others.

But when player two catches up, look out! She may just end up being the best of the bunch.

I recently heard a story about the legendary pitcher and Olympian Cat Osterman talking to a group of youth players at USA Softball’s High Performance Program (HPP) national player selection event. After watching the quality of the talent that was there, she told them that when she was their age there was no way she would have been invited to such an event, much less have been able to win a spot on the roster.

She didn’t become the Cat Osterman we know until a little later. She was tall and gangly and hadn’t quite figured out how to get those long arms and legs all moving together in a way that would dominate hitters.

Had she primarily been comparing herself to the other pitchers around her she might have become discouraged and given up. And the sport would have missed out on one of its all-time greats.

But instead, she just kept going, focusing on making herself better so she could get more opportunities to pitch. I’m sure at times she looked at who was ahead of her and thought, “If I can get better than her (or them) I’ll be pitching all the time.” She is a competitor, after all.

Yet she apparently never let the fact that she wasn’t as good right now discourage her from trying to become better. She kept plucking away at it, and eventually passed them all – to the point where she was good enough to compete and medal in the Olympics in 2004, 2008, and 2020. A pretty remarkable feat by any standards.

The bottom line is each of us has a path to walk, and we walk it at our own pace. You can’t control how good someone else is at any given point in time, but you can control your own progress toward your goals.

It’s ok to look ahead and say you want to beat this person or that person as a way of measuring progress toward those goals. But in the end remember the main person you’re competing against is yourself.

Keep trying to better yourself, little by little, day by day, step by step, without overly worrying that this person or that person is ahead of you right now. Keep walking the path and one day you’ll look back and be amazed at how far you’ve come.