Having a competitive spirit is pretty much a requirement for playing fastpitch softball (or any sport for that matter). As long as someone is keeping score, human nature says you want your team’s score to be better than that of your opponent’s.

Yet if the score and who wins and who is the best becomes the entire point of playing, that mindset will obscure a much more important value that can be gained, in my opinion. Namely, the value of the overall experience.

This thought came to me when I saw an Internet meme with a quote from author Kurt Vonnegut. You can read the full quote here, but I will try to summarize it quickly.

Vonnegut tells a story about being on an archeological dig when he was 15. At one point the head archeologist asked him if he played sports, and he replied no, but told the man he did several other activities. When the archeologist said “Wow, that’s amazing,” Vonnegut told him he wasn’t good at any of them.

That’s when the archeologist dispensed this wisdom: Being good isn’t the point of doing things. It’s gaining the skills and experiences that make you an interesting person (no matter how you do them) that is the real benefit.

I mean wow, right? What a way to think about it.

In our “winning is the most important thing” and “if you’re not the best you’re nothing” culture imagine doing something just because you enjoy it.

Instead of playing for the trophy or chasing the college scholarship imagine that you play for the sheer joy of the experience.

I think that’s what is often missing in today’s game. Too many players are losing the joy in fastpitch softball because they’re so obsessed with reaching a goal someone else has told them they need to be striving for or securing an achievement that really isn’t a priority for them.

One of the biggest examples, of course, is playing in college. Players (and their parents) get so caught up in playing on the “right” teams or the “right” tournaments/showcases (those that will give them exposure to college coaches) that they forget why they picked up a glove and ball in the first place.

Players (and their parents) get so caught up in comparing themselves to others they know personally, or placing as high as they can in some arbitrary rankings, that they end up spending so much time trying to “be the best” that they lose out on other experiences life and the sport has to offer. And if after all of that they still don’t measure up to their wishes or expectations, what once started out as a way to go out and have a little fun in the sunshine as part of a group becomes a source of angst or even despair.

So, does that mean it’s ok for everyone but the most talented or most driven to give up trying to be better? Of course not.

I believe every player should strive to be the best they can be, overall and every time they step on the field. But the key part of that phrase is the “best THEY can be.”

Maybe you’re not going to be compared too favorably to the best players on your team or in your area. Maybe you’re never going to make a super high level team that travels all over the country.

But you can still work to better than you were yesterday.

If you’re a pitcher, maybe you’ll never come close to throwing 70 mph. But if you’re throwing 48 mph today, try to throw 49 mph tomorrow. If you walked 10 hitters today, try to walk only 9 tomorrow.

If you’re a hitter who struck out in every at bat today, work so that you put the ball in play once tomorrow. And so forth.

Others still may not think of you as being a great player, or maybe even a really good one. But you will have learned how to overcome obstacles and build skillsets where you previously didn’t have any.

And that’s going to far more important to your future success than your specific prowess in pitching, hitting, throwing, or fielding a yellow ball. It will also make you a more interesting person.

Try not to get caught up in all the hype and BS that seems to be so much a part of sports and life in general these days.

You don’t have to be great at something to enjoy it. Or to gain value from it.

Just grab your glove and get out on the field. A whole world full of experiences is waiting for you.