One of the toughest decisions a coach has to make during a game is when to take a pitcher out. That decision is based on a lot of factors.

For example, it’s easier to leave a pitcher in a game to see if she can work her way out of trouble if the game doesn’t mean that much. On the other hand, if you’re in a big tournament, the pitcher is your #1 (and thus perceived to be your best chance at winning) and a loss means elimination, it can be very tempting to stick with her even if you know in your heart of hearts she’s done.

If you do decide the current pitcher needs to be replaced, however, one thing that shouldn’t be a difficult decision is deciding how to take her out. That should be handled by a circle visit, either by the head coach or the team’s designated pitching coach.

(ASIDE: If the pitcher is the head coach’s daughter, the visit should probably be handled by literally anyone else. That’s the voice of experience talking, folks.)

The reason I bring this up is I recently heard a story about a team where, when they want to change pitchers, there is no circle visit. The coach just sends the new pitcher out from the bench to tell the current one it’s time to take a seat.

That’s just wrong for so many reasons, not the least of which is the mental game wellbeing of the pitcher – a factor which will no doubt be of importance down the road. It’s also just rude.

A pitcher would have to be pretty unaware of her surroundings and what’s going on in the game to not realize she is struggling. I mean, if she’s walked the bases loaded in 12 pitches she probably has a pretty good clue that she’s not exactly on top of her game.

A circle visit gives the coach an opportunity to say, “Doesn’t look like today is your day,” or something to that effect.

If the pitcher was doing well up to that point the coach can say words to the effect of, “Looks like you’re having some trouble with the umpire. Let’s give her a different look and see if we can’t get out of this jam.” If she wasn’t, the coach can say something such as, “Rough one today. I think we need to change things up right now, but if you keep working there will be other opportunities.”

I’ve talked to many current and former players, and nearly all agree that girls are far more likely to think the worst of themselves and believe it when someone tells them they’re not very good. Even if they know it’s not true.

A few kind words when making a pitching change can help mitigate some of that thinking and bolster the pitcher’s base confidence level. And as we all know, confidence is a critical element to have when you’re playing the position that is most under the spotlight, and has so much impact on the team’s success.

But circle visits aren’t just for pitching changes. Getting out in front of problems, especially if they’re happening to your #1, can help you avoid having to make that tough decision later.

Sometimes when a pitcher starts to struggle she just needs a little positive reinforcement from the coach. Sometimes she needs the visit just to slow the game down and give her a chance to regain her composure, or her mojo. Sometimes she just needs to get out of her own head for a bit.

One time when one of pitchers was struggling I called time, walked to the circle, and said, “A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, ‘Hey, why the long face?'” I then turned around and went back to the bench.

She was a bit stunned at first, I think, but then she realized my Dad joke was just a way of telling her A) don’t take all this too seriously, and B) you’re doing fine, just relax. It worked too – she pitched herself out of the inning with no more trouble.

A circle visit isn’t really a time to offer pitching instruction, although I was known to draw a power line or two in the dirt in my coaching days when I thought it would help. It’s a time to help pitchers deal with the mental side, whether it’s calming down so they can continue or softening the blow of taking them out so they know the situation is temporary, not permanent – and that coming out of a game mid-inning doesn’t make them a bad human being or a terrible pitcher. Everyone gets pulled sooner or later.

Now, I know at this point some of you keyboard warriors are thinking this point of view is soft, and that female pitchers need to not be such snowflakes. They need to toughen up Buttercup and just deal with it.

So for those who think this way let me ask you this: when was the last time you saw a Major League Baseball pitcher get taken out of a game without a coach coming out to the mound to do it? You can count those times on the fingers of one ear.

So if an MLB pitcher who is a fully grown adult and is getting paid millions, or tens of millions, of dollars per year to throw a ball needs a coach to come out and tell them personally that they’re done for the day, why shouldn’t a young or adolescent girl who is just playing for the love of the game be offered the same courtesy? Or a college pitcher for that matter.

If you’re a coach who is managing pitchers in-game, be smart about it. Get off your behind and talk with your pitchers when they need it – whether it’s to calm them down or make a change.

They may not like seeing you come out of the dugout but that feeling will be temporary. Because they will appreciate you showing you care about them as a person as well as a pitcher.