Got an e-mail the other day from the ASA notifying me about an auction they're running on eBay. The e-mail showed a list of items you can buy that "will make that perfect Christmas gift."

Some of the items are the usual stuff you'd expect — autographed balls, posters, a trading card set, and some 8x10 glossy photos. But there were a few other items of interest that just beg for comment:


* Autographed used cleats from Stacey Nuveman, Jennie Finch, and Jessica Mendoza. Oh boy, just what every kid wants. Somebody else's used shoes. Funny, my brother looked forward to the day he could get his own new shoes.

* An autographed #8 replica jersey signed by Cat Osterman. A replica jersey? A replica jersey? You mean with all the money they charge for membership those cheap screws at the ASA couldn't spring for the extra few bucks for a real jersey for her to autograph? Here's a hint guys — you don't actually have to pay retail for your own merchandise.

* Autographed shorts Jessica Mendoza wore in the 2004 Olympics. Hope somebody washed them first.

* Autographed World Cup program. No specifications on which one or who signed it. It's sort of a grab bag gift. You might get Cat, Natsha Watley, and Crystal. Or you might get a couple of hot dog vendors. Isn't this fun?

* Stacey Nuveman chest protector from the 2004 Olympics. Ok, I kind of get the cleats and the glove. But a chest protector? Wouldn't a nice painting look better on the living room wall?

Good to know the money is going to a good cause, though. It's to help support the Olympic team in their quest for Gold in 2008. And here I thought they were going to waste it on something stupid like kids with cancer.